I Can't Believe I Have To Say This Again

Some thoughts on MLB's replay rules:

Dear Baseball

Dear Baseball:

I know this is a crazy idea, but hear me out. Maybe, just maybe, the next time you assign broadcasters to your playoff games - you know, the ones the whole country watches, not just the local market - you might want to think about picking people who actually like baseball the way it's played now and are excited to talk about it.

Ryan Howard's End

The Phillies are kind of awful this year, which is OK. They were supposed to be awful, and to be fair they've been quite a bit less awful than they were supposed to be. They've had some exciting moments, to with some Fred Merkle-level awful baserunning. They've had some nice moments from some young players, and they've said goodbye to pretty much everyone left over from the glory years.

Tim Tebow Wants To Play Baseball

So Tim Tebow wants to play baseball.

I mean, I'm sure he does. It's a great game. Lots of fun.

But.

A Tale of the Killer

So.

I'm at a baseball game. Minor league, 'cause that's what we've got around here, and I'm not complaining. I'm wearing a replica Twins jersey for no reason other than I like my replica Twins jersey and it's white, meaning I'll roast slightly less in the afternoon Carolina sun.

On the Rush To Make Baseball Games As Fast As Possible

Let us follow the logic here:

Today In Sports Stupid

Quick, loyal readers! What's the dumbest thing to happen in sports in the last 24 or so hours? Was it:

On Tanking And The Dream

There's been a lot of fretful talk about "tanking" in baseball in a way that there hasn't necessarily been in other sports. I mean, sure the tire fire that is the Philadelphia 76ers has excited some notice, but only because they've been at it for so long to such little effect. But all of a sudden this year it's baseball's bete noire, the scourge that's sweeping the land and must be stopped so someone can Think About The Children.

(Everything in baseball is about The Children. This sentiment is usually evinced by middle aged men. I leave the irony as an exercise for the student.)

On Goose Gossage Getting Steamed

The general reaction to Goose Gossage's off-color, off-topic (he'd initially been asked about Aroldis Chapman) rant about Joey Bats and Bryce Harper and all those disrespectful younger players is "cranky old man yells at damn kids to get off his lawn."

I don't think this is the most accurate way of looking at it.

Dear baseball:

I write this to you from a place of love.

But.

You need to hire some goddamned game designers.

Like, now.

Lies, Damned Lies, No Statistics

Certain headlines repeat themselves year after year at spring training. Some are harmless. Some are true. And some are unmitigated hooey. For example:

1. "Team X spent $400M this offseason!" - No they didn't. They may have signed contracts for $400M, spread out over however many years, but that's not the same thing as saying they plunked down a half billion dollars all in one spot. Throw in the interesting tax ramifications of player salaries (thanks for nothing, Bill Veeck), money that's coming off the books at the same time those contracts are going on, and various and sundry other factors, and the actual dollar amounts teams are "spending" at any given time is slightly less jaw-dropping - or sensational.

Monte Irvin, RIP

Now that's a baseball card

Lost in all the nonsense about the Rams moving and the Chargers maybe moving and God knows what else this week was a story you probably missed: Hall of Fame outfielder Monte Irvin, late of the Negro Leagues and the New York Giants, passed away.

Top 10 Questions Coming Out Of The Baseball Winter Meetings

Now that the annual baseball winter meetings have wrapped up and all the job seekers, stringers, and agents for backup catchers have caught their flights home, it's time for folks to declare "winners" and "losers" of the deals that went down.

Which is ridiculous. Because nobody's playing a game for another three and a half months and moves don't get made in a vacuum, and besides, nobody's signed Yoenis Cespedes yet.

Why I Love Baseball, Part Gazillion

This is why:

Takeout Slide Down the Slippery Slope

The Law of Unexpected Consequences broke Ruben Tejada's leg.

I mean, sure, Chase Utley did the actual deed, no doubt finally releasing all that pent-up anger from when John Lannan broke his hand and knocked him out of the playoffs in 2007, but that's not the point. Or at least not this point.

Last Day

It is the last day of baseball's regular season.

Roughly 40% of the games being played have some sort of meaningful implication for the playoffs - who gets in, who doesn't, will there be tiebreakers, who gets home field advantage. 

Things We Have Learned From NatsThroatGrabGate

Because these days, everything in DC has to be a "gate".

RIP Yogi Berra

All right thinking people hate the Yankees.

All right thinking people especially hate the unbeatable Yankees of the 1940s and 1950s, the Casey Stengel era of effortless dominance.

And all right thinking people resent the endless mythologizing of those Yankees over some of the worthier players from that era. See also: Phil Rizzuto, Hall of Famer. 

But.

There was always an exception for Yogi.

Godspeed, Yogi. When you get to the fork in the road upstairs, take it.

Top 10 Benefits of MLB.TV

Dr. Mrs. the Sportsthodoxy and I just cut the cord on cable, choosing instead to go with a combination of Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Crackle, YouTube and about a million other options, none of which let us actually watch this week's Rick and Morty. But along with that, we got the MLB.TV package, which has become something of an obsession. Here, then, are the ten best things about watching games on MLB.TV:

16Ks and What Do You Get?

There are a lot of reasons to go to a ballgame. Spending time with friends and/or family. Satisfying a craving for ballpark hot dogs. Watching the actual game. You know, all sorts of things.