Which is ridiculous. Because nobody's playing a game for another three and a half months and moves don't get made in a vacuum, and besides, nobody's signed Yoenis Cespedes yet.
With that in mind, then, here's a list of the biggest questions the winter meetings raised. Because those, frankly, are far more pertinent than somebody spending a thousand words explaining that having Zack Greinke on your team is better than not having Zack Greinke on your team.
- If the Phillies do succeed in trading closer Ken Giles, who's going to close for them? More importantly, are they going to have any ninth inning leads for a closer to protect? Like, ever?
- Why do the A's consistently turn around and trade the guy they got as the centerpiece in their last trade as soon as the next offseason rolls around? The way the returns are diminishing on the Josh Donaldson trade, they're going to be swapping for a stack of old Sid Monge cards next.
- Is there anybody else the Diamondbacks can trade to Atlanta? Seriously, anyone? Can they trade the Braves that pool in center field? Three of their uniform combinations? There's got to be something.
- The Mets infield now looks like the group of session musicians who show up with the original drummer at the local State Fair and claim to be Foreigner. Is this how a World Series team that isn't based in Miami acts?
- Speaking of Miami, is the plan to piss off their young talent and then trade it, or just piss off the young talent and keep it around until they destroy all its trade value?
- Why are the Dodgers suddenly cheap? They have literally more money than God. To be outbid for one of their own by Arizona, of all teams, is like troubling and unexpected, like a quality Nic Cage movie.
- Is there anyone Seattle hasn't traded yet? Their new GM has moved roughly 30 players in the month or so since he took over. There are only 25 on an active roster. That, my friends, is some dedication.
- At what point are the A's and the White Sox going to admit that they're just trading with each other because they're lonely?
- David Price signed in Boston. Ben Zobrist went to the Cubs. If the Cubs and Red Sox meet in the World Series but their rosters are filled with former Rays, do the Durham Bulls get credit for a World Series championship?
- The Rays aren't going to go into the season with James Loney pencilled in at first again, are they? Are they? Aww, come on...