Saturday, March 28, 2015

Ten Things I Think I Think About Sports This Week

"Also, Bill Buckner in '86? Totally caused by aliens."

  1. The Philadelphia 76ers, a team that is actively trying to be bad, does not have the worst record in the NBA this season. They don't even have the second-worst, and at least one of the teams they're ahead of was supposed to be a contender this year. Which means either the Sixers can't even screw up right, or, man, do certain people in New York and Minnesota need to feel ashamed.

Friday, March 20, 2015

On Yard Goats And Crappy Cabernets

Now this is a badass mascot-worthy goat. That's a goddamn mountain he's jumping off.

So there's now a minor league team called, and I quote, "The Hartford Yard Goats". Leaving aside any opinions one might or might not have about Hartford and why it's a travesty they didn't name the team "The Whalers", it is, to be blunt, ridiculous. As mascots go, a "yard goat" - literally, a goat that someone keeps in their backyard - is about as inspiring as calling your team "The Shrubs" or "The Goddamn Opossums That Keep Getting Into My Garbage Cans" or "The Crabgrass". It's not the sort of mascot you rally around, it's not exciting, and it's not traditional, and even as we speak a zillion baseball bluehairs are frothing over how the Yard Goats (who had the perfectly good name of Rock Cats until earlier this week) are a disgrace to our proud baseball history of Lugnuts and Sand Gnats and Isotopes

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Twelve Things We Learned From the NCAA Tournament Bracket

There are certain things we learn every year on Selection Sunday: who made the cut, who didn't. What teams got screwed by their seeding and which ones got an easy path to the Sweet 16. And then there's the deeper learning, the true lessons imparted by the deeper subtext of the bracket itself. To wit:

Sunday, March 15, 2015

5 Reasons Philadelphia Doesn't Hate The Sixers

The national basketball media remains fascinated with the Philadelphia Experiment being carried out by GM Sam Hinkie. Largely, they're against it - in their minds, it is nobler to strive endlessly for mediocrity (with the implied "and then get out of the way for the glamour teams" that goes with it) than attempt radical reconstruction in an attempt to improve themselves. But interestingly enough, the fans in Philadelphia have largely ignored the doom-and-gloom narrative around the team, which may in fact be some kind of first. Here's five reasons that's the case:

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Battle Of The Spring Training Sites

There are those who claim that spring training baseball is best in Arizona, and those who think it is best in Florida. Fans of Arizona point to the extensive list of local restaurants provided by Keith Law during his ESPN chats and the fact that all of the teams train close together, while fans of Florida like to point to the tradition of spring training there, the resorts, and the fact that it isn’t Arizona. However, in this age of statistical analysis of everything, it seems obvious that the only way we will ever get to the bottom of this debate is with a head to head comparison, to enable us - the fans - to determine which spring training state is truly the best of all.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Twenty Stories We Can Expect To See Out Of Spring Training This Year

  1. Rangers suffer blow to their rotation with injury
  2. Rangers suffer second blow to rotation with injury
  3. Rangers petition AL to allow opposing teams to hit off a tee this year

Saturday, March 07, 2015

Consider the Source

One of Buster Olney's confidential sources
Consider the source.

Heading into what will almost certainly be a lost season for them, the Phillies have themselves a very valuable asset in the form of Cole Hamels. Hamels is a very good pitcher who is rather expensive but not outrageously so, and a great many teams would be improved by having Hamels in their rotation. [Assume I've just done a lengthy bit on marginal wins here, and trust me that it's not worth it for a team like the Phillies to keep him around instead of flipping him for young talent; 70 wins + some prospects who could help you win next year > 75 wins.) 

Sunday, March 01, 2015

Tinfoil Angels Cap Alert

So your new baseball conspiracy theory, hot off the presses...