Phillies Finally Sign Harper and Surprise, It Makes Sense.

So the Phillies finally got their man, wrapping up generational talent Bryce Harper for 13 years and $330M. It's the biggest contract ever (though not the highest AAV), and this is causing some otherwise sensible people to lose their minds.
Before we get into the crazy, let's make one thing clear. The Phillies can afford this. They can afford this and the Andrew McCutcheon deal and the David Robertson deal and the Aaron Nola extension. If they had decided to go that way, they could have afforded Manny Machado's deal on top of it, and probably whatever Dallas Kuechel gets, too. They are a lone team in one of the biggest markets in the country, with a sweet cable deal that's a license to print money. They can afford to spend money to put better players on the field. (Which, history has shown time and again, leads to more butts in seats, more shirseys sold, and more $10 beers getting guzzled at the ballpark, i.e. more profit.)
The main objection to the Phillies - freely and of their own accord - paying Harper this money is that it's a lot of money. To which I say yes, yes it is and it's doing what a baseball team's money is supposed to be doing - paying players, who happen to be the product. (We'll leave the real estate conglomerate that is the Atlanta Braves alone for the moment.) What else exactly should a team be doing with its money? Hoarding it for a rainy day? Trust me, they're not going to turn it into cheaper seats and beers. Keeping it in the owner's hands so they can buy a Dan Snyder-style mega yacht? Surely that can't be what people are actually rooting for.
No, the Phillies did what they were supposed to - they took their revenues and plowed them back into the product, with an eye towards competitiveness and the profitability that comes with it. By shrieking about the size of the contract, all the various voices are doing is demonstrating a lack of understanding of basic economics.

Lessons of the MLB Trade Deadline

In no particular order:

• Be very careful who you put on your limited no-trade clause list. Jonathon Lucroy got to veto his trade to Cleveland, so the Brewers turned around and dealt him to Texas. I'm guessing the cool banks of the Cuyahoga are going to start to look pretty good around the fourth or fifth time Lucroy has to strap on catchers' gear in the August Texas heat. 

The Bill Belicheat of Baseball

You may not know who Chris Correa is, but you can bet he's a Deflatriots fan...

Formerly scouting director of the St. Louis Cardinals, Correa was sentenced earlier today to 46 months in jail, and was also ordered to pay $279K in restitution for computer hacking against the Houston Astros.  But he said he was sorry!

Trade Deadline's Winners And Losers

Every major event on the sporting calendar is accompanied by a flurry of "Winners/Losers" articles. Drafts, trade deadlines, free agency periods, you name it, and the MBL non-waiver deadline is no exception. And if you look around, you'll see a ton of pieces mostly spitting up the same points over and over: The Blue Jays, Royals and Astros won, the Phillies got decent value for Hamels, and we're stunned San Diego didn't do anything. (Not entirely true: they added Mark Rzepczynski). But we here at Sportsthodoxy like to dig deeper, and to expose the unorthodox winners and losers. And maybe, just maybe, to frame the debate in terms of obscure late-period Muppets. So without further ado:

Twenty Stories We Can Expect To See Out Of Spring Training This Year

1. Rangers suffer blow to their rotation with injury
2. Rangers suffer second blow to rotation with injury
3. Rangers petition AL to allow opposing teams to hit off a tee this year

Consider the Source

One of Buster Olney's confidential sources

Consider the source.

Heading into what will almost certainly be a lost season for them, the Phillies have themselves a very valuable asset in the form of Cole Hamels. Hamels is a very good pitcher who is rather expensive but not outrageously so, and a great many teams would be improved by having Hamels in their rotation. [Assume I've just done a lengthy bit on marginal wins here, and trust me that it's not worth it for a team like the Phillies to keep him around instead of flipping him for young talent; 70 wins + some prospects who could help you win next year > 75 wins.) 

Tinfoil Angels Cap Alert

So your new baseball conspiracy theory, hot off the presses...

Top 10 Least Likely A-Rod Related Headlines This Spring Training

10-A-Rod Admits He Actually Is A Centaur
9-Yankees Exec Admits To Not Really Caring What A-Rod Is Doing Every Minute Of Every Day
8-NY Post Writer Joel Sherman Hospitalized With A-Rod Related Dementia
7-Lupica: "We Should All Just Forgive And Forget A-Rod's Actually Minor Transgressions"
6-Trump: "I Have Absolutely No Opinion On A-Rod"
5-Rodriguez goes 0-3 in Spring Training Game; World Fails To End
4-A-Rod Responds To Critics With "Well, How Many of YOU Have Dated Cameron Diaz?"
3-Jeter Says Nice Thing About Rodriguez
2-Yankees Official Agrees to Attach Name To "Anonymous" Report of Management Displeasure With Rodriguez' Showing Up Early And Working Hard
1-New York Media Collectively Admits Rodriguez Coverage Is Overblown; Decides to Hound Chase Headley Instead

The Pitch Clock Is A Terrible Idea, Because The Hell With Subtlety

Meet MLB's New Pitch Clock. Yes, They're Starting It In The Minors. 
Why Do You Ask?

I will keep this simple.

Baseball does not need a pitch clock to speed up play.

This is not because baseball does not need to speed up its pace a bit.

Words is Words, ALCS Division

Jarrod Dyson is a very fast man. Jarrod Dyson said some stuff. The stuff, and I'm paraphrasing here, is that the team he plays for, the Kansas City Royals, is going to win the playoff series they're currently contesting, in five games at most. Another bit of stuff he said suggested that if the team his team is playing got down 3 games to none, they wouldn't think they could come back and win it.

Draft Night For Baseball

I'm not normally a draftnik kind of guy. I think the fact that Mel Kiper Jr. has made a career out of being a "draft guru" is a sign that our civilization is doomed. I think middle-aged men making a bunch of athletic 22 year olds stand around in their skivvies while their measurables get read out is deeply creepy. I think the fact that we have turned roll calls and glorified bingo (in the case of the NBA lottery) into television "events" is a sad, sad thing, especially in a world where your average Community episode had more crew members than viewers.

That being said, I watched a good chunk of the MLB first year player draft tonight. The telecast was largely crisp, the analysis of the players was largely free of Harold Reynolds, and the pace was good - four minutes or so between first round picks, one minute per pick thereafter. Once the first round ended and Bud Selig stepped away from the mike, teams started sending up former players to announce their picks, leading to some great intentional comedy - cue the mighty Ferguson Jenkins of the Cubs - and some great unintentional comedy as well. 

Things We Think We Think About the 2014 Baseball Season

"I'm trying to warn you about Seattle's roster construction, kid."

With Opening Day upon us (not counting proto-opening day, which happened in Australia and which we can only imagine looked like one long Outback Steakhouse commercial up to the moment when Yasiel Puig jumps into a pool to celebrate a victory and gets bitten by a blue-ringed octopus), it is generally time for baseball writers - and, more importantly, writers who know nothing about baseball but feel compelled to comment and/or vote for the Hall of Fame - to unlimber their trusty typewriters and write lengthy pieces previewing the season. We're talking predictions, scouting reports on every team, you name it, all at great length and all likely to be rendered irrelevant by the next injury report.

Seriously. Clayton Kershaw signs gazillion dollar contract, gets hurt. Who saw that coming?
But here at Sportsthodoxy, we're not going to do that. Instead, we're going to tell you what we think will be interesting. Because, frankly, that other stuff is way too much work, and we're much more into the sorts of opinions you develop over a Foothills IPA sitting in the seventh row at a Durham Bulls game.

That being said, we think:

• That it's going to be Tampa Bay and the Dodgers in the World Series, largely because Detroit seems intent on shooting itself in the foot and there's no way those guys in Boston pull off two in a row. We'd say it would be the Nationals in the NL, except we can't see anyone or anything associated with our nation's capital actually doing anything.

I Play For Smart People

We're not even at the All Star Break and already the howling has started in certain quarters about how, if the playoffs started today, it would be a ratings disaster because the playoffs wouldn't consist exclusively of the Yankees and Red Sox, possibly cloned to fill all the playoff slots but ensuring large TV markets). The spectre of *gasp* a Pittsburgh or an Oakland sneaking into the postseason, instead of the large market teams that Fox is banking on, will apparently trigger the zombie apocalypse, the heat-death of the universe, and a reboot of "Boy Meets World" (Note: One of these has already happened. Danielle Fishel, call me.)

An Open Letter To Baseball On the Bosch Deal

"So if A-Rod OPSes the same as a duck, he's made of wood"

Dear Baseball:

Please stop being so fucking stupid about the way you handle PEDs.

Bring Back the Cucumbers

When I was growing up in Philly, 97.5 was a semi-top 40 station, in that they played hits, but they also played a lot of local music. They played Bon Jovi before anyone else did (YMMV), and they played The Cucumbers and Hooters and John Eddie and Glenn Burtnick and Tommy Conwell and the Young Rumblers and even some Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes. They played the living hell out of Springsteen's "Pink Cadillac", and at Christmas they did the same for his version of "Santa Claus is Coming To Town". And for some unknown reason, they latched onto "When I'm With You" by Sheriff, possibly the most insipid power ballad of the '80s (and that's saying something) and played it endlessly.
These days, 97.5 is a sports yakker. As I'm in Philly on vacation, I decided to tune in for old times' sake. What I got was:

No More Clevelands

There are two possible conclusions that can be drawn from last night's umpiring fiasco in Cleveland, and they are predicated on whether or not umpiring crew chief Angel Hernandez is full of it. Hernandez, partially off the record, said that the replay they had of Josh Donaldson's home-run-that-was-ruled-a-double was inconclusive, and privately grumbled to Jayson Stark that the equipment the umps have for doing instant replay reviews is subpar for the job.
If Hernandez is full of it - and he does  not exactly have a spotless track record - then he deliberately sandbagged the call because he didn't want to be overturned by replay. That's unacceptable professional behavior and baseball shouldn't put up with it. Fans come to the ballpark expecting to see a fair contest, millions of dollars are on the line with playoff spots, and having a team's fate hinge on a case of "Idowanna" makes no sense. So someone needs to get in there, see the replays that Hernandez and his crew saw, and determine if they were actually good enough to show what happened.
If, on the other hand, Hernandez is telling the truth and the equipment was subpar - worse angles than the TV cameras and worse equipment to view it on - then this is also unacceptable. If umps are making calls that decide the outcomes of games on 17" black and white Zeniths with rabbit ears, that needs to stop right now. MLB can pay for one less "surprise appearance" by Puddle of Mudd at the MLB Fan Cave, rip a few of those flatscreens off the wall, and distribute them to the umpires' clubhouses so they can get the goddamn calls right.
It isn't hard, people. One thing or the other has to stop. Figure out which and do it.
Now.

Sit, Rex.

In a week marked by tragedy in Texas, Boston, and Iraq, it's very generous of Rex Ryan to provide the healing gift of laughter. The fact that he didn't do it intentionally is besides the point.

MLB Preview - AL West Edition

Mariners outfield headed this way? No problem.

Once, long ago, I was privileged to attend a game at Safeco Field in the company of the esteemed Derek Zumsteg, a man who is both a gentleman and far more knowledgeable about baseball than I will ever be. During the announcement of the Mariners' starting lineup - one that featured Willie Bloomquist hitting second, shortly after his unfortunate "clamming" incident, and Miguel Cairo playing first base - he started booing.
'nuff said. Here's the AL West.

2013 MLB Predictions - AL Central Edition

He's back. And he stepped on a banana peel on the mound.

Today, the NL Central, where no lead is safe until the Tigers wake up in mid-September

Detroit Tigers
Why They'll Win: Two of the all-time great talents in Cabrera and Verlander. Prince Fielder would be the big star on most teams, he's third banana here, and V-Mart's gone fourth. A pitching staff full of guys who can bring it, and a sneaky good lineup beyond the big guns. Lots of talent pushing its way up out of the system, providing some trade chits to flip at the deadline. Jim Leyland is definitely on the plus side of the managerial ledger. They play in a division weaker than the first pull off a keg of Natty Ice.

Great Moments In Amazing Expanding Strike Zones

On Monday Night, the Rays were mounting a comeback in the top of the 9th inning when this 4th ball pitched to Ben Zobrist was errantly called a strike to end the game:

What made this call so bad was that it was the third called strike of a six pitch at bat where no single pitch even came close to the strike zone. Rays Manager, Joe Maddon said in his post game presser "That can't happen in a Major League Game." Unfortunately, the Rays had to beat the 26th man on the Roster and he's a ringer...

This prompted me to consider the MLB worst calls of all time. Here are a few of my favorite bad calls: