Saturday, April 20, 2013

Sit, Rex.

In a week marked by tragedy in Texas, Boston, and Iraq, it's very generous of Rex Ryan to provide the healing gift of laughter. The fact that he didn't do it intentionally is besides the point.

In this case, Ryan took a break from oversharing his appreciation for a dainty well-turned ankle, bungling things with his best cornerback, and making ridiculous predictions to blast the Baltimore Orioles for not moving a game to allow the Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens to open at home.
Now, there are two things at work here. One is the NFL-MLB dynamic. the Orioles and Ravens can't play at the same time because their two stadia share a parking lot. The Orioles' schedule was set - hell, it had started - before the NFL announced theirs, and they were clearly expecting public opinion (and by "public opinion", they mean "neckless yahoos calling in to sports-talk radio shows") to force the Orioles to back down and move their game. That didn't work, as anyone who knows anything about Orioles ownership could have told them - Peter Angelos is not the sort to run from a fight - and so the NFL started kvetching about how it wasn't fair, and they didn't want to play on Rosh Hashanah (which they've never had a problem with before, not to mention Christmas, Thanksgiving, and United Nations Day), and, well, damnit they're football.  All of which got the Ravens an opener in Denver, which will still be a ratings bonanza for the NFL, and a home opener with ceremony at a slightly later date. In other words, no big deal.
Ryan, on the other hand, has no real interest in this other than shooting his mouth off. With the sudden resurgence of both the Nets and the Islanders, and the Mets showing signs of a pulse, the Jets have once again turned into New York's sporting punchline - seriously, where are the Cosmos when you need them - and the last thing they need is their coach to attract more ridicule because, hey, the flailing efforts to trade Darrelle Revis to Tampa aren't wacky enough. Ryan's thesis - that the Orioles should have just sucked it up and traded a home game for a road game because they've got enough home games anyway, and it's not like anybody would care about a White Sox-Orioles game anyway.
All of which goes to show, of course, that Rex has not learned the first rule of standing in a hole, which is to stop digging. Admittedly, buffoonery runs in the family - one only needed to watch his brother, Hagrid, flail about with the Dallas defense the last couple of years to understand that - but this is particularly goofy. For one thing, it's none of Rex's damn business. For another, let's think about what he's really asking for here. For the Orioles to give up a home game doesn't just mean they're giving up one game of home field advantage. They're giving up one game's worth of revenues - and so are their employees. Vendors. Parking lot attendants. Ushers. You know, the folks who can really use every game check. And Rex wants to take that money out of their pockets, because, hey, they've got other games. Except, of course, that the margin of error for a guy slinging peanuts in the upper deck is a hell of a lot thinner than for Nick Markakis - or for Rex Ryan.
As for the other argument, that no one cares about a late-season Orioles game, well, the O's made the playoffs last year, Rex.
You didn't.
'nuff said.
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