Monday, April 29, 2013

Dolphin Unsafe

And in the third round, we're drafting Giancarlo Stanton
Miami attracts bad sports owners like Liz Taylor attracted Dick Burton. You've got Marlins commandante Jeffty Loria, whose desire to smash his action figures together now extends to dictating which pitcher starts which game. You've got pleathery Heat owner Micky Arison, whose cruise ships have a bad habit of running aground (among other, stinkier things). And you've got ham-fisted Dolphin-in-chief Stephen Ross, a bad Burn Notice villain if ever I saw one, whose got a short-term memory like the fish Ellen DeGeneres played in Finding Nemo.

Ross crowed yesterday about how this year's draft was the bestest ever, that the organization was now the bestest it's ever been because he got the coach he wanted, and that under previous coach Tony Sparano, the team was a mess. Which is all fine and dandy, as long as he keeps signing the checks he owes Sparano for firing him mid-contract, except...
  • Except a few years back, it was Ross gargling at the moon about how Sparano was his hand-picked coach.
  • And it was Ross who mounted a public, awkward, and ugly pursuit of Jim Harbaugh while Sparano was still employed as coach
  • And it was Ross who gave Sparano a two-year extension, saying he was the "perfect coach"
  • And it was Ross who fired Sparano one year into that extension.
None of which actually means anything, I suppose - you have to get the fans excited about the guy, whoever your guy is, after all. But the media that keeps eating this crap up unquestioningly needs to recognize that it's complicit in perpetuating the cycle of crap. By not asking "didn't you say that about the last guy", by dutifully reporting each bit of hyperbole as if it's news instead of marketing-speak, by ignoring the track record except when it's convenient, the media does us all a disservice.
As for Ross, he's got his billions and he's got his toys and he's got his team. But it would be nice if someone called him out on his bull once in a while, just see what it would be like.
And to see if the next coach after that would be the best coach ever, too.
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