Cano Signs With Mariners

Or, Mariners GM Decides To Try To Save Own Job.

Or,
Gods Of Journalism Gift Writers With Infinite Number Of Jay-Z Themed Headlines Following Cano Signing

Or, Mariners Suddenly Notice Other Teams In Division Getting Better

Or, GM Implicitly Admits Loading Up On Second Base Prospects In Draft May Have Been A Waste Of Time

Or, Mariners Sign Cano, Bloomquist - Call It A Draw.

Or, Mariners Practice Cano-ball-ism

Or, Yankees Can't Go For That, No Cano Do.

Or, SWEET JESUS ON A POGO STICK WHAT WERE THE MARINERS THINKING?

I like that last one best.