By God Spring Training By God

So.
Spring training games have started. Baseball is officially, finally a thing.

And this happens:

• Clayton Kershaw gets bombed. So does the Phillies' high-priced Cuban import.
• Josh Reddick steals two home runs with over-the-fence catches.
• Ryan Howard starts off 3-for-3 against lefties. Jayson Stark writes a column about it.
• Zack Greinke, baseball's answer to Det. Rustin Cohle, walks off the mound after three pitches, hurt. Dodger nation waits until the third inning, and then holds its breath.
• Derek Jeter plays five innings of unremarkable ball. Reporters somehow resist the urge to rush out to the middle infield to interview him between pitches.
• New A's outfielder Craig Gentry hurt his back, causing everyone not in deep AL-only fantasy leagues to ask "Who's Craig Gentry?"
• Cole Hamels started throwing ahead of schedule. Jon Niese's shoulder isn't as bad as expected. Neither is Jaime Garcia's.
• Josh Hamilton hurt his calf and is out for a while. Again. 
• The Rangers took their official photos in a bathroom. Because, when you're the Rangers, why not.

But you know what? None of it matters. Kids we've never heard of are going to have monster games. All-stars we've loved for years are going to stink up the joint. Guys are going to be in the best shape of their lives. Pitchers will talk about their new pitches they're trying, most of which will be abandoned by opening day. Guys will talk about their new approaches at the plate, most of which will be abandoned by opening day. Pretty much none of it, apart from injuries, matters.

But damn, it's good to have it back.