Your Handy-Dandy Super Bowl 50 Translation Guide:

Sometimes, athletes, coaches and reporters at the Super Bowl say what they mean. This has happened as recently as Max McGee admitting he was hung over after Super Bowl I. Since then, the game has hidden behind an endless curtain of genteel weaselspeak. But that's OK, we're here to clear it up for you:

Denver Kremlinology

There are two narratives for what's going on in Bronco-land right now. 

One is that the 39 year old quarterback who was blowing the doors off the league early in the season got hurt but didn't come off the field. He spent the last 5 weeks of the season and the playoff round playing on a quad with less structural integrity than Paul Broun's understanding of The Origin of the Species, and for a precision passer like Manning that's death.

Eleven Thoughts on the Super Bowl

A few thoughts from the smoldering wreckage of the Super Bowl. Let's be honest, this was a beatdown so bad that if you squinted, you could see the Jim Kelly-era Bills playing there. Even so, there were some useful takeaways - some on the field, some off.

Official Sportsthodoxy Super Bowl XLVII Prop Bet Betting Lines (for entertainment use only)

Yes, I know we warned you about gambling yesterday. But if you are going to bet on the Super Bowl, we can't stop you. We can only hope to inform you with the official Sportsthodoxy Super Bowl XLVII Prop Bet Betting Lines (for entertainment use only). Because let's face it, just betting on the game or doing one of those cockamamie grid things are boring. You want to know what are the odds that:

Bold Official Sportsthodoxy Super Bowl Prediction

Anticipated field conditions, Super Bowl XLVIII

After much analysis and at least five minutes spent watching game film, the editorial board of Sportsthodoxy has come to the following conclusion:

UnBradyed

The Broncos' deconstruction of the Patriots yesterday hinged on precisely two factors. One was the complete inability of the Patriots pass rush to even ruffle Peyton Manning's thinning hair. (Seriously. Paint the guy green and he's the spitting image of The Leader from the old Hulk comics.) The other was Tom Brady.

Media Day / Peyton Manning

At Media Day this week, would somebody please ask Peyton Manning if the Papa John's franchises he owns are going to provide healthcare for their employees? Nobody (else) asked during the regular season. I thought he might have time to address it now. I'm sure he'll be at Media Day. He doesn't have anything else to do. Except, I guess, cook pizzas.

Dear #18

Hey Peyton!

I was just wondering something.

You own 21 Papa John's franchises now. That's cool. It's a smart way to help make sure that, unlike many of your peers, you continue to earn money after you retire.  And I am guessing that the recent legalization of pot in Colorado will do wonders for your sales volume.

But your partner, "Papa" John Schnatter, recently announced that he'll be docking his employees' hours in order to keep them ineligible for newly federally-mandated healthcare coverage.

I know that franchisees have a lot of control over the stores that they operate, in any industry.  So I was just curious whether you were planning to dock your employees' hours to keep them ineligible for federally-mandated healthcare coverage.

I know that you donated money to Fred Thompson's exploratory committee back in '07, but, I don't know, Fred was always kind of a goofy guy, I don't think anyone would hold that against you.  And your recent donations have all been to Republicans, but that's fine. You're allowed to hold political views, after all. I'm sorry your support for Dick Lugar didn't work out.

I know you have a personal brand as kind of a good-natured, friendly guy.  I wonder what kind of impact it would have to the Peyton Manning Brand for you to dock minimum-wage employees' hours to keep them from having affordable healthcare. Probably not so good.

Honestly it would be kind of dickish. I hope you don't do it.