Sunday, January 26, 2014

Bold Official Sportsthodoxy Super Bowl Prediction

Anticipated field conditions, Super Bowl XLVIII
After much analysis and at least five minutes spent watching game film, the editorial board of Sportsthodoxy has come to the following conclusion:

Fact 1:
Peyton Manning, for all of his many sterling qualities, does not throw a particularly tight spiral.

[Corollary: This does not mean that we at Sportsthodoxy think Peyton Manning is a bad quarterback. This does not mean that we think Peyton Manning is not one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, his strange predilections for terrible pizza and Sen. Fred Thompson's presidential ambitions notwithstanding. It is simply a comment on an observed, repeated phenomenon. Don't yell at us; yell at physics.] 

Fact 2:
The tighter the spiral, the more efficiently the ball punches through the air. This is particularly significant in bad or windy weather, when atmospheric conditions will hinder the ball from flying smoothly to its target. The more energy behind the throw is expended off the arc of the throw, the less energy there is to get it to its target.

Fact 3:
The current weather prediction for the Super Bowl is 70% chance of precipitation, in the form of ice pellets. I'm not quite sure what exactly that means, except that I'm going to be very glad I'm going to be indoors in North Carolina and not outdoors in New Jersey at kickoff time.

Fact 4:
Peyton Manning, who does not throw a particularly tight spiral, is going to be attempting to throw passes through a hail of, well, hail. This does not bode well.

Seahawks win. That is all.

And no, there will not be a guess at a score posted. Because nobody cares about those and they're always wrong, anyway.
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