Friday, January 10, 2014

Petrino Tells Louisville "Take Me Back, Baby, I've Changed"

Not actually Bobby Petrino - note the lack of motorcycle
Bobby Petrino.

That's all you have to say. Any time anyone starts talking about the mission of college football or how coaches mold young men or the stern character lessons instilled in weight rooms and spring practices, just say "Bobby Petrino".

Why? Because Louisville, having lost their head coach to Texas (and my, weren't some of the Horns faithful charming about that - remember, Red McCombs made Ziggy Wilf look good) signed on for a second go-round with Petrino. Why? Because he wins football games, and that means nothing else he did matters.

Never mind the fact that he's catapulting out of Western Kentucky, the only school that would have him after his Ghost Rider-outtake flameout at Arkansas, less than one year into a five year deal. Or that the reason he left Arkansas was a combination of lying to his bosses and bumping uglies with someone he'd had the university put on payroll, because people sensibly wanted to know who the hottie he'd laid down that bike with was. Or the way he cut and ran mid-season on the Atlanta Falcons, resigning via laminated note less than one year into a five year deal. Or the way he'd bolted Louisville once before, a year into a ten year deal, after interviewing for every job that would throw a plane ticket his way. And that included, of course, the one held by a friend who hadn't actually been fired yet, Tommy Tuberville at Auburn.

But he wins football games. And the Cardinals will be going to the ACC next year, where they'll need to win football games (though dismantling league heavyweight Miami in a bowl game was a nice start). So they brought back Bobby Petrino, the cheating spouse who'd cheated on them before and left them for the sexy NFL without a second thought. Now he's older and balder, but otherwise apparently the same guy.

One and done at WKU.

Bobby Petrino.

The guy who's going to mold the young men of the football team. The guy who's going to oversee the multi-gazillion enterprise that is Louisville football. The guy they trust so much they put a $10M buyout clause in his contract.

Bobby Petrino.

There are coaches who have done worse things, by commission or omission. But the sheer unapologetic venality of Petrino, the utterly mercenary nature of his sluttish job-hopping, and the fact that there are no consequences for this behavior as long as he wins, well, that says all that needs be said.

Molding of men? Honor? Teamwork? Having your guy's back in the trenches?

Bobby Petrino.

And that's enough.
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