Tuesday, January 07, 2014

14 Predictions for the MLB Hall of Fame Announcement

Wednesday, a group of privileged individuals who taken as a whole have the collective reasoning of a half box of dominoes, will render judgement on the current class of MLB Hall of Fame Nominees. Not many surprises are expected, but you can always count on us at Sportsthodoxy to provide you with valuable, advance insight on the goings on for tomorrow's Hall of Fame announcements.

With that said, here are 14 predictions for the MLB Hall of Fame Announcement:

1. There will not be a shutout this year.

2. The MLB Genius PR Department will continue to honor the greatest players in the game as they transition into Baseball immortality by hosting a Press Conference at 2pm on Wednesday so everyone can enjoy the announcement. Brilliant.

3. There will be lots of discussion about how the ballot is crowded, how the number of inductees should be expanded...This is baseball folks, nothing happens until the arm is so twisted that it actually breaks off.

4. The Deadspin ballot controversy will actually result in a flood of Hall ballots available for purchase. These ballots will immediately be purchased by Pete Rose who will attempt to circumvent his lifetime ban saying "The Hall wants what the Hall wants!".

5. After a convincing Heisenberg impression at the announcement which will include powerful expressions of "Say My Name! and "I AM the DANGER!", The Big Hurt will be granted his entrance to Cooperstown.

6. Kenny Rogers will realize he picked a bad year to retire.

7. The actual announcement will be so boring that the audience will be popping greenies just to stay awake. MLB will not care even if they do have "performance enhancing" effects on the actual announcement.

8. Mr. Bagwell will receive his golden ticket into Cooperstown.

9. Rafael Palmero will manage to tread water and stay on the ballot for 2015.

10. With heads more swollen than Barry Bonds, the BBWAA will continue to project it's moral compass on the game of baseball. None of the so-called PED Players will get a nod this year.

11. Despite the fact that he wore glasses and that there is severe distrust of young nerds and their stats, Greg Maddux will be inducted.

12. There will be lots of talk around McGwire and Bonds "coming clean" on their alleged PED usage. Neither will be inducted until their very last year of eligibility.

13. HOF Managers Cox, Torre and La Russa will reenact a Three Stooges slap fest in July. Advance tickets will be sold with the proceeds to benefit T Plush's mental treatment.

14. When all is said and done, Jack Morris will miss the cut and still be on the outside looking in.
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