Our Final Word on DeflateGate

The official, final Sportsthodoxy position on DeflateGate:

1. Read this before you say anything. Because context is important. 
2. It is highly likely that the Patriots have engaged in ball shenanigans. So have many other teams.
3. That being said, it does not matter what the Patriots did or didn't, because the collective bargaining agreement gives the commissioner of the NFL the ability to do pretty much whatever the hell he wants, up to and including suspending you 8 games for eating a ham sandwich.
4. The league, of which the Patriots are a member, and the NFLPA, of which Tom Brady is a member, agreed to the collective bargaining agreement.
5. Which means that they preemptively agreed to let commissioner Goodell do whatever the hell he wants.
6. Which means that while they may be right about the DeflateGate incident, in the broader legal sense, they're basically screwed.
7. None of which will stop Patriots fans from moaning or NFL writers from generating endless hot takes.
8. The real solution is to A)replace Goodell and B)amend the CBA. Neither of which will happen, because everyone's making too much money right now.
9. Funny how DeflateGate kept the NFL in the news when nothing football-related was happening, isn't it.