Wednesday, August 06, 2008

The Secret Brett Favre Diaries, Part I

March 3, 2008

Dear Diary,

I know that Green Bay and I have been together for, like, forever, but I dunno. It just seems like something has gone out of the relationship and all. Oh, I know, Green Bay still worships me, and now that I know that it’s just friends with that…Aaron Rodgers person, I feel better about things between us. But I still want something more. Maybe some time apart would be good for us. Maybe I should just end things. I think that’s a great idea, really. I really shouldn’t be tied down like this.

March 6, 2008

That’s it. I told Green Bay that I’m dumping them. It’s over. It’s not Green Bay, it’s me. I even cried, and so did they, and it was so exciting! Best day ever, even if I am sad to leave Green Bay. Oh, well. We can still be friends.

March 12, 2008

I KNEW IT! Green Bay is already together with that SLUT Aaron Rodgers! They must have been planning it all along!

March 17, 2008

Wow. Green Bay and Aaron Rodgers seem so happy together. They’re planning for the draft and everything.

March 24th, 2008

So, I, like, called, Green Bay, and told them I missed them. Green Bay was like, so excited! They said they’d be right over, and that they missed me, and that they wanted me back, and that they were only with Aaron Rodgers ‘cause Rodgers kinda reminded them of me. I’m so happy!

March 28th, 2008

Green Bay is coming to see me! Me!

March 29th, 2008

OMG. So, like, Green Bay got here, and they wanted, like, a commitment. With, like, a contract, and a ring, and minicamp, and everything. I can’t go through with that. Why do they try to force me into things? I’m a free spirit! Why can’t they just let me be me?

April 14, 2008

Trying to learn cross-stitch. ZOMG, this is really hard!

May 7, 2008

Bored now. Bored, bored bored.

I wonder what Green Bay is doing.

May 18th, 2008

Green Bay sure looks happy. Just wait. They’ll see. They’ll miss me. And when they ask me to come back, I’ll say “No.” I’ll tell them about all the times I suggested personnel moves, and they said no, and laugh at them. And then they’ll be sorry!

June 7th, 2008

They haven’t called. Why haven’t they called?

June 16, 2008

They called!!!! I came home from pottery class, and there was a message on my machine, and OMG it was Green Bay!

I am so, like, totally not calling them back right now, though. I can’t seem like I missed them too much.


June 18, 2008

Talked to Green Bay. Green Bay wanted to know if we could maybe get back together for a season. You know, be serious. I told Green Bay I didn’t know.

June 20, 2008

Green Bay said that if I couldn’t be serious, they had to move on with their life. And I was just about to say yes!

I think.

(Part 2 coming tomorrow. All dates ganked from

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