Monday, January 07, 2013

Sportsthodoxy Guide to the 2013 ESPN MNF Booth

With reports that Ray Lewis has signed a contract to be a part of the ESPN 2013 Monday Night Football broadcast team, we at Sportsthodoxy Central decided you might need some assistance telling the difference between Ray and current MNF color commentator Jon Gruden.


Jon GrudenRay Lewis
Height5'9"6'1"
2000 AFC ChampionshipLostWon
BuseyficationLooks suspiciously like Gary BuseyActs suspiciously like Gary Busey
Super Bowl Rings11
Children36
Sainted Despite...winning the Super Bowl with somebody else's team, against his old team, which was still using his old playbook...maybe killing a couple of dudes
Enormityheadego
Hobbiesdancing with head coaching job offerspregame fireworks dancing
Drink Every Time He Says"They're running a cover-two, man-under""The bottom line is..."
Crazylooks like a psychopathic toymay have killed a couple of dudes
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