Would Somebody Please Wrest The Microphone Away From Number 8. That Is A Direct Damned Order.

There are times in every person's life when harsh, unpleasant, bowel-chilling truths must squarely be faced. Thanks to Deadspin (in the scared-straight, Hell-House, very-special-episode-of-Blossom connotation of "thanks") for alerting us to the following, erm, development:

Last year, a Seattle radio station, attempting to, we dunno, inspire somebody or something, came up with "Sweet Shaun Alexander," an ear-bleeder set to the tune of "Sweet Home Alabama"...
[W]ith Sunday's rather imposing game at Soldier Field looming, the radio folks are at it again, pumping up the crowd with "I Am Matt Hasselbeck", set to the tune of Justin Timberlake's "Sexyback."

That's one Matthew Michael Hasselbeck, son of Don, brother of Tim, brother-in-law of Elisabeth. Getting his, uh, sexy back, or his jiggy widdit, or whatever unparalleled auditory befoulment fits.

As fellow alumni of the Collegium Bostoniense, we the co-proprieters of this humble but necessary corner of the Interweb tubes feel it our solemn duty as Jesuit-educated men for others to alert our current and former Eagle fellows, male and female alike -- and, for that matter, all good men and women everywhere -- to join us in this humble, heartfelt plea to Our Man in Puget Sound...

"Honestly, man. Would Doug do this?"





Sexy never left ol' #22...




(Go ahead. Click it. You know you want to. I mean, Judas Xavier Priest, that's not good...)