Friday, September 09, 2016

Mandatory Tim Tebow Baseball Post

In no particular order:

Tim Tebow has been signed by the New York Mets to a minor league deal for $100K. He will be assigned to Port St. Lucie. These are the facts on the ground. Beyond that:

  1. Tebow may be a freakishly good athlete, but he's 29, hasn't played baseball competitively in a decade, and apparently has the pitch recognition skills of a wobbegong. This also describes Michael Jordan, whom as you may recall hit about .202 as a minor leaguer. So the odds of Tebow achieving any kind of baseball success are minimal. In other words, Tim Tebow, you are no Michael Jordan.
  2. $100K is basically seat cushion money for any major league team, even the Mets. A couple of days of merch sales to the Tebowmaniacs who are still convinced that Satan, as manifested in John Elway, Chip Kelly and Bill Belichick, blocked Tebow from his rightful football stardom, and that $100K is more than covered. Financially, it's a no-lose proposition, especially if you look at the autographed baseball memorabilia Tebow was selling on his site even before he got the contract. $130 baseballs? I can get you a signed Ted Williams ball for that money, and he actually knew how to hit a curveball.
  3. Signing Tebow means the Mets let someone else go, which is unfair and unkind and just plain mean. That being said, minor league baseball players get cut all the time, and the odds of the 25th man on a low-A roster turning into a major league contributor, or even a trade chit, are low. So I feel bad for the guy, but I'm not sure that this was anything more than a slight acceleration of the inevitable.
  4. Boy, are Jets fans going to love the inevitable Tebow late-season call-up for box office purposes.
  5. Tebow's routes in the outfield are apparently slightly less efficient than Trump Foundation bookkeeping. The odds are very low that he's ever going to get good at it - so much of that comes down to repetition and practice that he's ten years behind on - so his bat is going to have to carry him. 
  6. That being said, I give it half a season before the Mets decide to try to turn him into a pitcher. Because #LOLMETS

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