Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Thoughts on the NBA Draft

By all accounts, Ben Simmons is the consensus #1 talent in the draft. He is supposed to be the one game-changing talent, the one draftee who has the potential to elicit comparisons to LeBron or Magic someday. He is the best player available, and the Sixers have said he will be the first overall pick.

And then you read the scouting reports and the mock drafts, and the take on Simmons is:


  • Doesn't play defense
  • Can't shoot
  • Gave up on his team
  • Is cocky
  • Doesn't seem to want to put forth effort
  • Best-case scenario is Lamar Odom Lite


And this is the guy everyone agrees is the best player in the draft. One can only assume that by the time you get to pick 10 or so, the scouting reports will read:


  • Models his defense on Draymond Green's nut-shot technique
  • Once tried to eat the rim
  • Accidentally killed his point guard with a too-hard inbounds pass
  • Has never seen a basketball in his life
  • Ritually sacrificed an assistant coach to Arioch, Lord of Chaos
  • Is actually a full-sized Muppet


And with the 24th pick in the first round, the Sixers will pick an actual rock. Or perhaps an alpaca they can stash overseas in the Turkish League for a season.


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