Thursday, February 26, 2015

All the NFL Combine News You Need

Here is all you need to know about the NFL combine:


The big news was that a guy broke the standing broad jump record.

Now, in case you were wondering, there is no part of football that involves the standing broad jump. Indeed, the idea of the standing broad jump is kind of antithetical to what football is supposed to be, namely, 22 guys running around in various patterns. If there is jumping that happens, it tends to be straight up and down in pursuit of the thrown ball, as opposed to being of the "standing broad" variety.

Furthermore, the young man who broke the record, Byron Jones, late of the University of Connecticut, is what is generally referred to as a day 3 draft prospect. Bleacher Report had him ranked 24th...at cornerback. The odds, as they say, are very much against Mr. Jones being an impact NFL player.

And this is the excitement we get out of the Combine, which is two parts meat market, three parts gym class, and nine parts hype.

There is no debate over who the #1 overall pick is (Jameis Winston, unless he's caught holding up a bank in Gotham City before draft day, in which case it's still even money Tampa takes him), despite ESPN talking heads being deliberately contrarian to stir up "debate". There is no name in the draft besides the top two quarterbacks whom anyone's particularly passionate about or interested in. There is, to be brief, absolutely nothing going on of interest to anyone who is not directly employed by the NFL or one of its teams, unless you like watching hyper-athletic big dudes get spandex wedgies.

There is, however, a guy breaking a broad jump record. Take that for what it's worth.
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