Saturday, April 19, 2014

Baseball to English Translation Guide, Part 1

Now that baseball season is underway, we here at Sportsthodoxy felt it would be a public service to translate some of the more obscure phrases in Baseballese into English for our readers. For example:

  • "This team's got great chemistry" - Nobody's punched anyone over what music gets played in the locker room. Yet.
  • "He helped his own cause" - The pitcher got a hit that was somehow involved in scoring a run. Normally pitchers work against their own cause, actively conspiring with the other team.
  • "Reported to camp in the best shape of his life" - He was kind of fat last year.
  • "He's turned into more of a pitcher" - He's lost 5 MPH on his fastball and can't strike anyone out anymore.
  • "Crafty lefty" - Doesn't throw hard enough to break glass. 
  • "Crafty righty" - Now pitching in AAA
  • "A long single" - Would have been a double for anyone else on the team, but this guy runs like a loaded semi headed up the Blue Ridge Parkway.
  • "Not holding the runner close" - This guy couldn't steal second with a 30 foot head start and a stiff tail wind.
  • "Plays the game the right way" - Plays baseball the way I got extra orange slices for playing it back when I was 8.
  • "Doesn't play the game the right way" - Appears to be having fun out there.
  • "Wasn't expected to make the rotation out of spring training" - At least six starting pitchers ahead of him have gotten hurt and the team is desperate.
  • "It's early" - It's not even May and the team is 8 games out.
  • "The shortstop's got to make that call" - The shortstop has no idea where the ball is and is desperately hoping someone else does.
  • "He missed the cutoff man" - He missed the relay man. The cutoff man is the guy who actually got it once it skipped past the guy it was actually supposed to go to.
  • "Pitchers have adjusted to him" - He had a great 2 weeks before everyone figured out he couldn't hit a curveball with a canoe paddle.
  • "That's one he'd like to have back" - But the guy in the twelfth row of the bleachers who caught it is keeping it.

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