Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Peraltasaurus Rex

As per Peter Gammons, Red Sox players are privately kvetching that Jase Robertson failed to properly inflate their raft when they were going muskrat hunting and...no, wait, that's not it. They're kvetching that Tigers SS Johnny Peralta, having served his 50 game suspension for PEDs, is now allowed to play. The concern is apparently that they don't know what residual steroids are still in his body, making them wonder if at any moment he could completely Hulk out and turn on a Craig Breslow slider with gamma-irradiated fury.

This is, of course, nonsense, but in a certain way it's reassuring nonsense. For one thing, the use that Peralta got popped for was in 2012. As in "last year". Steroids are gone from the body in a month or so, so anything Jhonny-5 popped last year is deader than sales on Madonna's last album. For another, the guy did his time. Sentence served, punishment meted out, etc. He's perfectly within the rules to be on the field.

But the reassuring part is this: Anybody geshrying over the fact that there might be some 2012-vintage steroids (a little fruity, with a hint of oak in the finish and a late burst of tannins) lurking in Peralta's biceps clearly knows absolutely nothing about steroids: how they work, how long they last, or what they do. And if the players don't know this crap, then it's a sign they're probably not using.

Which is nice.
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