Sunday, October 20, 2013

An Open Letter To My Fellow Phillies Fans

Dear Knuckleheads, Knuckledraggers, and Nucky Thompson Impersonators:

If you are so offended by the fact that a Phillies player - in this case Domonic Brown - expressed a rooting preference for a team other than the Iggles that you are demanding he be run out of town or wishing physical harm upon him, then you need to seek psychiatric treatment immediately. Mr. Brown owes neither the Eagles nor you his football fandom; he is obligated to do his best during baseball season to help the Phillies win - which he did to good effect this year - and that's it. And seeing as he's one of the few position players the Phils have left with a pulse, your idiotic loyalty test would only serve to inch the Philberts closer to '61 Mets territory. So knock it off.

Alternately, take up cross-stitch. You'll find it soothing.

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