Roger's a Yankee? No f-f-f-foolin'...In space, no one can hear Michael Kay scream. And that may be the only place people aren't hearing about Roger Clemens once again forming up his schilltron at the behest of the burgomeister of the Bronx, George Steinbrenner.
For four months of labor (possibly five), for a prorated wage of $28.5M. Since it's prorated, it's only going to be about $18M, but who's counting? What matters is that he's the highest paid Yankee, he gets perks that just a little while back Joe Torre was swearing no Yankee would ever get, and the Yankee fanbase has been energized with the thought that ritually sacrificing Darrell Rasner will allow them to appease the gods and reach the playoffs. After all, Clemens is back, and he's the greatest ever, right?
Well, yeah, but he's old and getting older. He's not going to be facing the Pirates anymore. He's got to deal with DHs like Big Papi instead of pitchers like Tom Gorzelanny taking their hacks. And he's a 6 inning pitcher, which, considering the way Joe Torre handles a bullpen, is like handing a pyromaniac an old Def Leppard album and a can of kerosene, and telling him to do what comes natural.
The media will no doubt continue to lionize Clemens for doing things that any other athlete would get skewered for. He'll no doubt win some games and be better than the Kei Igawas of the world. But color me crazy, I'm not quite ready to hand the Yankees the AL East yet.
Not until someone gives Joe Torre a copy of Adrenalize, anyway.
2 comments:
Nice post, Mr. Dansky. However, the word "schilltron" defies my personal body of knowledge, and my new personal rule is that if it ain't on Wikipedia, it ain't for real. Or was "shilltron" (as in "he's a shill") intended?
As much as I've become disenchanted with the Yankees owing to their increasingly absurd spending (I mean, even more so than usual) and their heavier reliance on free agent signings over their farm system (remembering that their great teams from the 90s were built based on farm system products like Jeter, Pettite, Posada, Williams, Rivera, etc), I actually can't fault them for the Clemens signing. Their pitching staff this year has made even the Phillies look like a collection of Lou Gehrigs, and the day you have to give serious consideration to putting Colter Bean in the rotation is the day you go out and spend $28 million.
A schilltron was a military formation, specifically a variant on the traditional pikesquare. It was put to greatest effect by Swiss mercenary companies.
And I still think Joe Torre has given Colter Bean a raw deal.
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