Thursday, February 08, 2007

Some Final Thoughts on the Football Season

If Marlon McCree had the sense God gave a paper clip, would we be hailing Marty Schottenheimer as a genius right now? On the other hand, did the Patriots have the Chargers so spooked that McCree felt compelled to try to add to that oh-so-fragile 8 point lead San Diego had going into the homestretch by running the interception back? If so, that may be the single most impressive piece of mental intimidation I've seen on a football field.

There is no quarterback controversy in Philadelphia, apart from a trumped-up media chewtoy intended to fill the time between the end of the Eagles' season and the start of spring training. The Flyers are near-historically awful, the Sixers are awful and boring, and Drexel is beating the pants off the Big Five in college hoops. No wonder they want something else to chew on. Seriously, though, ask any Eagles fan (and by Eagles fan, I mean Eagles fan, not "human-shaped sack of wet sand who would sell his childrens' internal organs for five minutes of air time on WIP") and they'll tell you one thing: McNabb is our quarterback, but he'd damn well better be handing the ball off more next year. End of story.

The Chiefs had better start developing their next ungodly good running back right about now. I'm sensing about two years' worth of tread left on Larry Johnson's tires. And how scary is it that Christian Okoye's kid played in the North-South game?

Possibly the single most terrifying item in the latest issue of ESPN was the discussion in the "Mike and Mike" page - this is what you call "vertical integration without lubrication" - wherein the estimable Mr. Golic notes that the NFL offseason is perfect because it's broken up by important events like, and I quote, The Combine. To which I say, if watching young men line up in their shorts to be weighed, measured and prodded counts as an event anywhere outside of Chippendales auditions, it's time to abandon the country to Mel Kiper Jr.

Even money says Terrell Owens is not in Dallas by the start of training camp. More money says that the NFC East is a two-team division next year - Philadelphia and Washington - and Tom Coughlin is gone by midseason.

The New England Patriots are not the Yankees. They're the Atlanta Braves - winning without superstars, plugging role player in after role player, and maintaining remarkable consistency.

Wild predictions for next year - the Steelers and Bengals will be back in the playoffs. The Saints, no longer buoyed by a last-place schedule, won't be. And the Cardinals will continue to be awful. Then again, that's not really a prediction. It's a more of a rerun.
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