...Terrell Owens would have spit on D'Angelo Hall if Tony Romo hadn't been getting all the press over the last couple of weeks?
...two weeks from now, anyone is going to know who Tank Johnson is? Such is the magic of the NFL's super psychic teflon.
...that every day, the unflattering portrait of Isaiah Thomas painted in Armen Keteyian's Money Players looks a little more accurate?
...that Gil Meche wakes up every morning giggling, and wearing pajamas made out of money?
...that the Flyers and Sixers would simultaneously be the worst teams in their respective leagues? It's like 1983 in Bizarro World.
...there are too damn many bowl games, but try cancelling the one your alma mater is in and see where that gets you.
...there are too many 6-6 teams playing bowl games, which is to say, there's at least one?
...Carmelo Anthony is going to pay someone to throw the sucker punch for him next time?
...Nate Robinson's near-psychotic justification of his role in precipitating the on-court brawl with the Nuggets - essentially "they had their starters in and we were trying to come back", which strikes me as good a reason as any to, you know, leave your starters in - caused his agent to have an on-the-spot anyeurism? Compare it to Carmelo's SAT vocab word-irrific statement.
...that the Knicks have gotten their mandatory "shocking upset with half the team suspended" out of the way, and will now go back to stinking?
...the Nuggets' owner is seriously thinking about suing David Stern right about now for all the revenue he's going to lose with Carmelo out of the lineup?
...that nothing really emphasizes the value of a bowl game like the coaches who jump ship before them? "This is what we worked for all season, men, the culmination of - hang on, is that a dump truck full of money backing up? Never mind."
...it's just not going to be the same holiday season without the Poulan Weedeater Independence Bowl?
...the football players at schools like Rice, Rutgers, and Middle Tennessee care that sportswriters are making fun of them for attending schools like, say, Rice, Rutgers, and Middle Tennessee? They're still playing. The sportswriters, well, aren't.