Wednesday, November 05, 2014

But the Sanchize Is Also Cursed

Insofar as I root for anything related to the NFL, I root for the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles lost their QB of record for the foreseeable future in Sunday's game against the Texans. This leaves them, at least temporarily, in the hands of former Jets punching bag Mark Sanchez, and Eagles fandom in the equivalent of the old "But the frogurt is also cursed" routine from the Simpsons. To wit:

We want the Eagles to win. Which would be good.

But doing so with Sanchez would ignite another idiotic QB controversy. Which would be bad.

But Sanchez playing well in Chip Kelly's system would be a vindication of it on the pro level. Which would theoretically be good.

But that would lead to yet another round of arglebargle over Rex Ryan and his coaching skills or lack thereof, and the last thing any of us needs is more time spent discussing Rex Ryan. Which is bad.

But discussing Rex Ryan's arglebargle might actually lead to cleaning house over with the Jets, which might make them interesting in a non-car-crash way. Which would be good.

But the resurrection of Sanchez would cause all of the people who were eager to crown him the next Montana in the day - I'm looking at you, Colin "Some quarterbacks just have IT" Cowherd - to crawl back out of the woodwork and claim they believed in him all along when they clearly didn't, causing sane normal folks to punch their radios and televisions out of frustration. Which would be bad, especially for the radios and televisions.

But at least the Eagles would be winning games. Which would be go- oh, wait, they lost their best linebacker and another member of their already-shaky o-line in that game. Forget I said anything.

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