Thursday, July 10, 2014

Takeaways: Germany vs Brazil

Here are, in no particular order, the things we learned from Germany's 7-1 shellacking of Brazil in the World Cup semis:


  • In hindsight, we might not have gotten all of the Germans' best effort when they beat us 1-0.
  • Non-USA soccer highlights are much more palatable to the average American sports fan if set to "Yakkety Sax". [Note: there's, like, twelve of these out there already.]
  • Hinging your political program on the likelihood of hosting and then winning a highly competitive international athletic competition is perhaps not the best plan
  • Brazil may have lost by six goals, but they have a player named "Hulk", and that's much cooler than "Ron-Robert", "Jerome", or "Toni".
  • The next person who describes Germany's performance as "efficient" gets a punch in the neck. What we saw was not "efficient". "Efficient", in context, means taking advantage of limited opportunities. You can say a lot of things about the opportunities Germany had, but they were not limited.
  • Miroslav Klose setting the record for most goals in World Cup play was cool. Breaking the tie he was in with a Brazilian, in Brazil, against Brazil? Just showing off.
  • Bravo to the home team's fans, who stood and applauded the German team's performance at the end of the game. There's something to be said for appreciating greatness, even when you're getting the pointy end of it.
  • Did I mention the Brazilians have a player named Hulk? 
  • "Not enough scoring" can no longer be applied as a blanket complaint as to why you don't like soccer.
  • At this point, I think we've all had enough of the "Brazil got waxed" jokes.
  • And last, this is why guys like Nate Silver deal in "probability" and "percent chance". Because every so often, stuff like this just happens. 
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