10000 Losses

Not on the current roster, and running hard to get off the old one

As you no doubt know, the Phillies just suffered their ten thousandth loss as a franchise, to which, as a Phillies fan, all I can say is "Big deal." The team has been around for a hundred and twenty five years, including a short and unfortunate stretch as the Blue Jays, and over that many years, you're bound to rack up a lot of Ls, even if you're a good team. And, let's face it, for most of their history, the Phillies weren't very good. That being said, most of those losses were racked up by guys with names like Jack Baldschun and Ted Kazanski and Hugh "Losing Pitcher" Mulcahy, not to mention the odd Steve Jeltz or two. It's ancient history, and while it's fun for ESPN et alia to run with the whole "city of losers" angle - gawrsh, no wonder they boo! - what's really more important this year is not an record-setting entropic inevitability. What matters is the fact that the starting pitching is running on double-A fumes, the bullpen is ragged and wounded, and there's no production out of anybody left of shortstop. Loss 10001 will come, and 10002 and 10003, and God knows how many else. What matters is getting the pitching healthy and the 3B/LF black hole rectified so they come a little more slowly in the future than they did in the days when Solly Hemus, Clay Dalrymple or Heinie Sand were household names.

Why is this man smiling? He's not on the current roster, either.