Taking a cue from the Arte Moreno school of marketing [Sweet galloping Kierkegaard, no - Ed.], the Long Beach Armada has changed the team's name.
It's now the Long Beach Armada of Los Angeles of California of the United States of North America Including Barrow, Alaska.
Or for short, LBALACUSNAIBA. [Which is not that portmanteau that Tiger Woods calls himself; we checked.]
It's not a hoax.
Of course it's not. It's the Arte Moreno School of Marketing -- you know, the people who sold you Thunder Stixx. The Rally Monkey. Darren Oliver as a viable option out of the bullpen. That school.
"It's the real deal. We've got merchandise on the way," said David Kaval, owner of the Armada and chief executive of the Golden Baseball League. "The abbreviation is great, especially on a hat. It wraps around."
Yes, well, so did "ANNETTE" on Ms. Funicello's sweater during the heyday of the old Mickey Mouse Club, and you could actually spell that within 3 tries. So unless Messr. Kaval's going to roll out a line of baby-doll T's with this marketing ploy-cum-printing press accident across the goods, we're not too terribly interested.
The Armada, which opens its season June 13 at Blair Field, will host "Barrow, Alaska Day" on July 30 to honor the team's sister city. "Everyone knows what the Angels did," Kaval said, adding that "being a real Los Angeles County team, we wanted to extend our reach as far north as possible."
Which is true. We all know what the Angels did. No one of reasonably sound mind liked it; we all justly ignored it; to this day we're surprised that Gene Autry The Singing Cowboy His Own Bad Self didn't claw his way up from the grave and wrap his six-string around Arte Moreno's neck for it. But now, the bright side...
By the way, Kaval said city of Long Beach officials are not upset. Their name's still first.
A perfectly cromulent attitude, I'd say.