Trump on Football

If you actually take what Donald Trump says about football seriously, I have four letters for you.

They are, in order:

Wild Card Weekend Takeaways

Here is what we learned during Wild Card weekend in the NFL:

Takeaways from the 2016 Hall of Fame Results

Now that this year's Baseball Hall of Fame voting results have been announced and the furious hot takes about whether Jack Morris should get in have been safely buried for a year, it's time to look at those results - Griffey and Piazza in, everybody else out, Jim Edmonds off the ballot - and think about what this really means. To wit:

Your Handy-Dandy Guide to Fired NFL Coaches

No, Chuck Pagano's not on this list. I didn't believe it, either.

On the Chip Kelly Firing

From the Official Father of Sportsthodoxy, via email:

"Chip fell off the block. He will surface as the next Coach of the Sixers. No guess who the next Eagles Coach will be."

Compared to this, I got nothing.

5 win teams prove NCAA is wrong about bowls - again!

I posted before about the NCAA crying about how there were too many bowls, it wasn't fair that 5 win teams got to go, blah blah blah.  Well guess what?  Did anyone notice that all three of those 5 win teams WON their games?  That's right, so who's laughing now?  One has to ask how deserving were the 6, 7, and 8-win teams they played (and beat).

On Why Bowl Results Don't Matter (Again)

This is your annual reminder that, with the possible exception of the games in the "playoff", bowl games absolutely do not matter. You cannot tell a damn thing about how good a team is, how good a conference is , what a team's prospects are for next year, or really anything at all. This is because:

A Declaration of Sixers-Hood

WHEREAS:

The plan known as "The Process" by which the Philadelphia 76ers basketball club is attempting to rebuild itself is contingent on acquiring and developing as much cheap young talent as possible while not worrying about wins in the short term

AND

Due to the vagaries of injuries, draft position, the greed and short-sightedness of various NBA General Managers, the 76ers have focused on drafting "the best available player" in order to stockpile as much raw talent as possible.

Beckham/Norman, With No Armchair Psychoanalysis

Here is what we know:

Giants receiver Odell Beckham Jr., after mixing it up with Panthers cornerback Josh Norman all day, took a running start at him and planted his helmet squarely on Norman's earhole.
This is not allowed.

Various Rushes That Are Better Than NFL Color Rush

Yes, even during the mustache-and-sweater phase

In Order:

1. Canadian prog-rock gods Rush

Color Rush Is A Crime Against Nature

Worst. Minions. Cosplay. Ever. 

Listen carefully.

There is a word for the new "color rush" uniforms the NFL made the Rams and Bucs wear Thursday night.

Things Broadcasters Are Forced to Say

The real proof that football season lasts too long is in listening to commentators desperately trying to fill air time as things stretch on and on.

Take, for example, respected and generally with-it CBSSports.com reporter Will Brinson, who, when discussing the coke-fueled bouncy house party that the ECU coaching carousel became, sternly suggested that East Carolina could not possibly succeed in a conference with teams like Houston if they kept scheduling powerhouses like Virginia Tech. Houston, the AAC champion, instead scheduled Louisville, and there's no comparison between scheduling VT and scheduling Louisville.

115 stadiums and counting - the year in review

About a week and a half ago I drove from North Carolina to Mobile, AL to see App State take on the South Alabama Jaguars.  This was my 115th FBS stadium, not counting bowl games or other special events.  The game started at 6:30 local time, so I had plenty of time to drive the whole way on Saturday, and then come home Sunday.

Some people say I'm crazy (very few have incontrovertible proof though).  But, as I tell my friends, obsession is what lazy people call commitment, and when you are committed to seeing all 130 FBS stadiums, you just don't balk at a 20-hour road trip!

2 semester sport? What are you talking about? Aka why the NCAA is crazy for not allowing a bigger play-off

So here we are again, friends, talking about bowl games.  I meant to write about something else today, but the powers that be keep making stupid comments, so here I go again (on my own).

Earlier this week I read an article on ESPN.com, saying there is no way the play-off will get any bigger, because the university presidents don't want to add more games, and push the season further into January.  That would make football a 2 semester sport, and that would mess up the academics too much.  Because the academics are the most important thing, right?

Top 10 Questions Coming Out Of The Baseball Winter Meetings

Now that the annual baseball winter meetings have wrapped up and all the job seekers, stringers, and agents for backup catchers have caught their flights home, it's time for folks to declare "winners" and "losers" of the deals that went down.

Which is ridiculous. Because nobody's playing a game for another three and a half months and moves don't get made in a vacuum, and besides, nobody's signed Yoenis Cespedes yet.

Would anyone really care if more teams went to bowl games? Aka 6 reasons to have even more bowl games

So in my last post, which I know you all read, right?  RIGHT?  I criticized the NCAA for whining about there not being enough 6 win teams to fill all the bowl slots, which is ironic because it is the NCAA's fault in the first place for permitting too many of them.

Then I got to thinking, so what if more 5 win teams went to bowl games, or even 4 win teams?  Would anybody really care?

NCAA reps please read - 2 brilliant ideas on how to solve the bowl game problem

In my last post I called the NCAA a bunch of boneheads b/c they were whining about teams with less than 6 wins going to bowl games (3 of which are, thanks in part to South Alabama failing to qualify on Saturday in a game they could have won).  Totally the NCAA's fault, because they let it happen.  So here's how you fix it:

Logic and Playoff Spots

Here's a thing.

If your argument is that two teams contending for one spot in the college football playoffs have essentially the same record, except that one team played better opponents because they were in a better conference, then you have invalidated your initial argument.

If your argument is that it's not your team's fault that they played in a weak football conference and they could only play the teams they were scheduled, then you are automatically disqualified from dismissing that argument when it is used to support the candidacy of mid-major schools for NCAA basketball tournament spots. It is called intellectual consistency, people. Learn it, live it, love it.

I was right about the bowl games - but why does that surprise you?

A few weeks ago I posted about there probably being too many bowl games - I totally scooped ESPN on this with my mad analysis.  I figured out that (at that time) there were not enough teams within enough wins to fill the bowls (based on current # of wins and projecting forward over time using kick-ass modeling skills).  No I won't give you my secret sauce.


Now the pundits have finally figured this all out, and the boys in charge are making a big stink about it, saying they will let some bowl games "go dark" to slow down growth in games.  Well, what the hell did you expect to happen?

114 stadiums and counting (aka Joe Paterno & bad signs)

Continuing this week's theme of bagging on Michigan State for not being undefeated, and also because they thoroughly humiliated my beloved Penn State Nittany Lions a few days ago, Spartan Stadium was #114 in my ongoing quest to visit all 129 (soon to be 130) FBS stadiums.  Fun fact - "Nittany" was added to "Lions" in Penn State's mascot years ago to create a more powerful version of the Big Cat (Nittany Lions are WAY better than just plain old Panthera leos).

Whose Lede Is It Anyway?

The Philadelphia 76ers won a game Tuesday night.

It was the first game they'd won this year.

College Football Playoff Possibilities

Now that the college football regular season has mercifully wrapped up, the playoff picture is finally coming into focus. If the playoff were held today, we'd be looking at Clemson vs Iowa and Oklahoma vs. Alabama, and lots of insane ranting from Ohio State fans (because somehow OSU's loss to Michigan State shouldn't count) and Pac-12 fans (because East Coast bias) and Michigan State fans (because they haven't yet figured out that 1 loss is more than 0 losses) and SEC fans (because it's not a real playoff unless there's multiple SEC teams in it, and damn both Les Miles and the torpedoes).

But we still have that one week of conference championship games, and here's how things stand heading into them:

113 stadiums and counting (aka Ga Tech's football team once beat Cumberland 222-0)

Do I love football more than my family?  Maybe.  Probably.  I don't know.  Well, really I do know but I am (kind of) afraid to admit it!  Good thing my mom is not rich otherwise I would have to worry about her writing me out of her will...

Why The Eagles Stink And Why ESPN Is Wrong About It

Not in any way, shape or form responsible for the Eagles' collapse

Thursday night, ESPN radio personality Robin Lundberg attempted to defend beleaguered Eagles coach Chip Kelly. "Point to one move," Lundberg sputtered, "That was that bad". The logic being, of course, that since there's no "disaster" move the definitively turned the playoff-bound Eagles into Tulane, there's nothing to see here and the Eagles' collapse can most likely be blamed on pixie dust, too much sushi, or the sudden difficulty in finding certain pieces of the Hooters' back catalog.

Thanksgiving at Duke

This Thanksgiving, on national television, we will get to watch the latest chapter in the Greg Hardy saga play out. A man who committed unrepentant acts of domestic violence, scooped up by a narcissistic vulture of an owner for the greater glory of his investment, shielded by the weakest of claims of concern and vetting. But hey, Cowboys games on Thanksgiving are a tradition, and the show must go on.

112 stadiums and counting

So I was sick for most of last week, but since I can't help myself, on Friday afternoon I left my house in North Carolina at 6 pm, and drove all the way to the Alabama state line, where I stopped for the night.  The next morning I continued on to Hattiesburg, MS to see Old Dominion take on Southern Miss.  The game was back and forth well into the 3rd quarter, until So Miss recovered a fumble (which led to a TD) and then on the next series batted a pass at the line (around Old Dominion's own 3 yard line no less) which become a pick 6 - So Miss ended up winning 56-31, much to the delight of the home fans.

111 stadiums & counting (aka, 3 games in 3 days across 3 states, part 3)

So after watching UTEP beat Rice by 3 on November 6th, I spent the night in Las Cruces, New Mexico, and then took a long, lonely drive up to Albuquerque to see New Mexico take on Utah State (also a close game).  The weird thing about driving in New Mexico is they have these border checkpoints really far north, a lot father north than you might expect, perhaps America's second line of defense against illegal immigration?

110 stadiums & counting (aka, 3 games in 3 days across 3 states, part 2)

For the second game in my (not quite) road trip, I flew to El Paso to finally see the Sun Bowl, which was #110 on the list.  The Sun Bowl is a stadium I have been looking forward to seeing for a long time, since I have been told numerous times it is unique as it was literally carved out of the mountain.  While this is a little bit of an overstatement, it is a decent stadium.  Very small crowd though, so I even said in my review this stadium may be best seen for the bowl game in December.  I didn't realize this until I went there, but the Sun Bowl was actually BUILT for the express purpose of having the bowl game, b/c their old stadium just wouldn't suffice.

Bad Year For Philly

This is how it was supposed to go this year for Philadelphia sports fans.

The Phillies were going to be terrible, but we knew that, and at least they'd finally embraced the notion of the rebuild. Sure, old favorites were going to get shipped off, but we'd see fresh talent brought in, and there would be some glimmerings of hope for the future.

On Terrible Football

If there has been one recurring theme this NFL season, it is this: terrible football.

Politics and Sports Redux

So.

A suicide bomber attempts to make his way inside a stadium where the French and German national teams are playing a "friendly", with the President of France in attendance. He is turned away and detonates himself on the street, the explosion audible inside the stadium. The choice of targets was not accidental.

The Dustypocalypse

Now that everyone in DC is done freaking out, eight thoughts on the reality of Dusty Baker as manager

109 stadiums & counting (aka, 3 games in 3 days across 3 states, part 1)

For those following along at home, I am on a mission to see all 129 FBS stadiums - eventually this will be all current stadiums, by the by, but for now I am satisfied to say I have seen 111 of them play at home, plus some stadiums only used for bowl games & other special match-ups, like the Red River Rivalry (including all the NFL stadiums along the way, b/c every NFL team has a college team nearby, so you can see both in the same weekend).

NFL Stadium Boondoggle Reaches A New Low

Not Actually NFL Spokesman Eric Grubman, though the confusion is understandable

As part of the ongoing St. Louis/Los Angeles/Oakland/San Diego stadium mess, it's the NFL's job to shake down municipalities for as much money as is possible. It's what the NFL does, in much the same way that parasitic fungi bore into ant brains, make the ants behave in ways contrary to their own survival, and develop useless structures that benefit no one but the parasitic fungi themselves.

108 stadiums & counting

On a mission to see all 129 FBS stadiums/see all 129 FBS teams play at home.  Currently I have been to 111 of them, but I am still a little behind so this post is all about 108.

So we are over 2 months into the college football season.  As of the end of last year, I had been to 100 of the 129 stadiums, and here are the numbers so far for this season:

This Year's College Football Highlights So Far

Things I am thankful for thus far this college football season:

1. No game has been described as "the game of the decade/century". Seeing as we've gotten an average of about six a year of those so far this millennium, that's a marked improvement.

Very Simple Math

If you are in fact horrified by the pictures of what Greg Hardy inflicted on his then-girlfriend, if you are tired of the NFL ham-fistedly covering this stuff and teams doing the absolute minimum due diligence to allow them employ the Greg Hardys of the world in good conscience, if you do not want to reward those who reward Greg Hardy, then the math is simple.

107 stadiums and counting

On a mission to see all 129 (soon to be 130) FBS teams play at home.  For #107 I traveled to Phoenix (technically Tempe) to see the Sun Devils lose abysmally to Oregon.  Didn't these guys watch the Superbowl last year?  When you have 1st and goal from the 3, run the damn ball!  Don't throw an interception, especially not on 2nd down when the previous pass was almost intercepted.  What an anti-climactic way to end the game.  The euphoria of overtime, only to lose on a bonehead play.

And this is why I get mad at most of the coaches for being sissies.  At the end of the 2nd half, they had 10 seconds left, and just knelt down.  Why not try a long bomb and maybe kick a field goal for the win?  What is it about coaches that makes them think they have a better chance in OT?  Never will understand it.  My buddy says it's all about momentum, but I am not so sure.

On the Miami Miracle

Let us leave aside for a moment the sheer blissful irony of Duke fans up in arms about an undeserved call going another team's way and costing them a game. (True story: I once watched a Duke basketball game with a Duke alum who literally did not know what a foul was.) This, my friends, is called "karma", and it looks fabulous on you.

Would you rather your team go to a crappy bowl and win, or a good bowl and lose?

This isn't so much a post as a question.  Which would you prefer?  I am curious what people will say.  Better bowl equals more money, but losing sucks.

Too many bowl games?

So I recently noticed that there are 41 bowl games this season, up from 37 or so last season - a couple new ones have been added in obscure cities, some of them being played at baseball parks.  I actually went to one of those last year (BYU lost the inaugural Miami Beach Bowl which is played in Marlins Park).

On some level I don't mind "new" venues, b/c I am all about visiting stadiums, so any chance I get to visit a stadium I have never been to and watch a college football game I will take.  But now I think they are overdoing it.

106 stadiums and counting

For those of you following along, I am on a mission to see all 129 (soon to be 130) FBS teams play at home.  To date I have seen 108 of them, so if you paid attention to the title you will notice I am a couple posts behind.  Sorry.

So for 106, a week and a half ago, I drove to Muncie, IN to see Central Michigan take on Ball State.  I am having the worst luck with weather this season, BTW.  I have already been to two games this season that were delayed by lightning (one until the next day), and multiple games where it has rained.  But these are all over the country, so no idea what the common denominator is - unless it is just me of course.

More World Series Math

In a previous post, I (teasingly) criticized my brother-in-law about taking his kids to Game 3 of the World Series.  At a $1000 per ticket, and 0 chance of seeing them win even if they won, I argued for the statistically most probable 7th game, if he couldn't see all of them.  Turns out I was wrong - he managed to pick the one game the Mets won, and he is a die-hard Mets fan so I am sure he enjoyed it.  Kudos to him for picking right.

Eleven Takeaways From The World Series

With a hearty congratulation to the Kansas City Royals, a "that was a hell of a season" to the New York Mets, and a "oh crap, 108 days until pitchers and catchers report" for the rest of us:

1. It doesn't matter how good your pitching staff is, it really, really helps if your fielders remember how to catch the ball.

We Missed One

A while back, we speculated on the contrived "New York - Kansas City" angle the media would go for during this World Series.

Fearless Predictions: The Doom of Temple

Prediction:

If Temple remains good at football for, say, the next two or three years (or if they stomp Notre Dame), it will get an invite to join either the Big Ten or the ACC.

105 stadiums and counting

For those following along at home, I am currently on a mission to see a game at all 129 FBS stadiums.  Some might say I am obsessed - to them I say obsession is what lazy people call commitment.

I started out doing this for fun (or our of boredom, you decide).  But since I have started writing stadium reviews on a website called StadiumJourney.com, so you can check out my reviews there:

World Series Math

In case there are any other nerds out there who like sports out there, this article is for you.  In a recent post I mentioned that my brother-in-law got tickets to game 3, so even if his team (the Mets) win he won't be able to see it.

That got me thinking about probabilities, so I crunched some number for you (you can thank me by reading this):

Mets - Royals Storylines

Behold the Patron Saint Of This World Series!

With a Royals - Mets World Series staring us in the face, the time has come to ponder which ridiculous narratives the media is going to try to pin on this thing. Sure, the Cubs would have made it easy for those guys - billy goats, curses, etc. - but Royals-Mets? Where do you go from there? Well, it may be one of the following:

104 stadiums and counting

Continuing my quest to see all 129 FBS stadiums - for #104 I flew to Lubbock, which is a great idea if I do say so myself, b/c flying to Dallas or Houston or El Paso and driving all the way across the great state of Texas would be painful.  I got to see Texas Tech take on the #3 ranked TCU Horned Frogs.

Why football will always be better than basketball, hockey, and baseball

So my brother-in-law is taking his kids to Game 3 of the World Series next week - he is a huge Mets fan, grew up in New York, life long dream to see the Mets in the series, etc.

103 stadiums and counting

For those of you following along, I am trying to visit all 129 FBS football stadiums (I include UAB b/c it is coming back, I don't yet include Coastal Carolina since they are not yet FBS).  And on that note, what I am technically trying to do is see every FBS play at home; I don't count bowl games or conference championship games that happen to be played at the same stadium, I only count it when I see the home team play there.

Why I Love Baseball, Part Gazillion

This is why:

ESPN Headline - English Translation Guide

Because sometimes the headline writers at the World Wide Leader don't quite communicate what they're after, here's a handy-dandy ESPN-English translation guide from today's ESPN.COM front page (with bonus content from the CFB page, ya nitpicking bastids)

Love/Hate Guide To the Championship Series

With the MLB playoffs down to 4 teams, it's time to take a long, hard look at who's left to figure out who's worth rooting for - and who's worth rooting against:

102 FBS stadiums and counting

Going to try to make this post a little jazzier (and shorter) than my previous ones.  For those who have been reading my posts, thanks so much.  And for any new readers, welcome aboard - let me fill you in briefly on what's going down here.

I am on a mission to see all 129 FBS stadiums, or in other words, a home game for every FBS team.  So far I have been to 105 of them, but I am behind, so this post will be about my 102nd stadium visit.  I do write stadium reviews of some of the ones I visits on StadiumJourney.com, so please check out my reviews there (http://www.stadiumjourney.com/member/Aaron%20S.%20Terry).

101 Stadiums & Counting, Part 2

So I have not written for a while, if anyone is keeping track.  Had a lot of things going on outside of football (wait, what?  You have other interests besides football?  For shame!).

Yeah, I know.  But the boss hasn't fussed at me yet so here goes.

In my last post (9/13) I mentioned I am trying to visit all 129 FBS stadiums (I still count UAB as one b/c they are bringing football back).  That whole thing was ridiculous, by the way.  They shut down UAB football to keep UAB from getting any of 'Bama's good recruits.  Really?  How many of 'Bama's good recruits was UAB GETTING, anyway?  And who could blame them anyway for wanting to play instead of riding the pine for the almost National Champions every year?

ACC Weekly Roundup: Week 6 - The Clemsoning

Dear Dabo Swinney:

Originally this was going to be the weekly writeup of all things ACC football, but two things happened. One, when I sat down to write that the only words that would appear onscreen were "SOUTH FLORIDA ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" And two, during your press conference, you said something that overshadowed the rest of the weekend's fairly pedestrian slate of games.

Takeout Slide Down the Slippery Slope

The Law of Unexpected Consequences broke Ruben Tejada's leg.

I mean, sure, Chase Utley did the actual deed, no doubt finally releasing all that pent-up anger from when John Lannan broke his hand and knocked him out of the playoffs in 2007, but that's not the point. Or at least not this point.

Randy Edsall Fired

And we can't say we're sad about it.

The Line Between Terp and Derp

In college sports, "It's about the kids" is the last refuge of the scoundrel.

Morning Link - Jeb Lund on Daily Fantasy

If you play daily fantasy sports, you are an aphid. 

Jeb Lund nails it here. 

Your Weekly ACC Roundup - Week 5

Random thoughts as we prepare for Friday night's clash of...mmm, "Titans" isn't really the word for a NC State - Virginia Tech clash, is it.

Wild Card Notes

Things we know after the Astros quietly garroted the Yankees in the AL Wild Card game:

Good on C.C.

There's a famous story, possibly apocryphal, about hard-drinking former Yankees pitcher Ryne Duren. Supposedly, on a road trip, Duren staggered back to the team hotel well after curfew and well and truly pickled. He got on the elevator with a Yankees exec who, used to Duren's drinking but not a fan of it, sniffed, "Drunk again." Duran just smiled and said, "Me, too!"

Some versions of the story have the Yankees exec as GM George Weiss. Others say it's Casey Stengel. Honestly, it doesn't matter.

Last Day

It is the last day of baseball's regular season.

Roughly 40% of the games being played have some sort of meaningful implication for the playoffs - who gets in, who doesn't, will there be tiebreakers, who gets home field advantage. 

Your ACC Weekly Roundup: 4 on the Floor

Week 4 was a relatively short one for the ACC, with only 9 games involving league teams on the schedule. Then again, considering how the higher-profile games turned out, 9 might have been too many.

Things We Have Learned From NatsThroatGrabGate

Because these days, everything in DC has to be a "gate".

Your Weekly ACC Roundup: Third Time's Not Terribly Charming

It could have been a lot worse.

Mind you, it could have been a lot better. The ACC was favored in 9 of 10 games with non-conference opponents in week 3; they won 7, including 3 out of 5 from the soft white underbelly of the B1G.

RIP Yogi Berra

All right thinking people hate the Yankees.

All right thinking people especially hate the unbeatable Yankees of the 1940s and 1950s, the Casey Stengel era of effortless dominance.

And all right thinking people resent the endless mythologizing of those Yankees over some of the worthier players from that era. See also: Phil Rizzuto, Hall of Famer. 

But.

There was always an exception for Yogi.

Godspeed, Yogi. When you get to the fork in the road upstairs, take it.

Your Weekly ACC Football Roundup: Week 2

(a.k.a. "We have a problem and it's Houston)
24.
20.
31.
76.
55.
39.
55.
35.
39.
17.

These are the scores by which ACC teams beat up on their regularly scheduled tomato cans last Saturday.

10 Key Questions For This NFL Season

As kickoff for the first full slate of games approaches, we must ask ourselves:


1-What will Bill Belichick have to do on the field to get Patriots fans to admit he doesn't always play entirely by the rules:

Your Weekly ACC Football Roundup, Week 1

There is a very simple rule for early-season ACC football. It goes something like this:
If an ACC team plays a school from a non-power conference (usually Elon), they win big. If they play a school from a power conference, they lose.

101 FBS Stadiums and Counting, Part 1

So to start off, I have to say that my title is slightly misleading.  I have actually been to a lot more stadiums than 101, including pro, college, and even high school.  But it takes more words to be precise, so I usually opt out.

Thanks For the Great Summer NBA TV!

Here we are.  The day before the NFL returns – which is my personal mark for the end of summer.  This is when the sports world gets interesting again (for me) as we have multiple sports with meaningful contests on a daily/weekly basis.  Normally in July/August, I spend way too much time following training camps, free agency, and reports from practice.  Watching the NFL Network in the summer can leave with that guilty feeling of wasting hours of your life and getting dumber, similar to the feeling to realizing that Nick at Nite has been on in the background for hours.

Top 10 Benefits of MLB.TV

Dr. Mrs. the Sportsthodoxy and I just cut the cord on cable, choosing instead to go with a combination of Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Crackle, YouTube and about a million other options, none of which let us actually watch this week's Rick and Morty. But along with that, we got the MLB.TV package, which has become something of an obsession. Here, then, are the ten best things about watching games on MLB.TV:

Shocking Move Out Of Philadelphia

EAGLES MAKE SURPRISE MOVE, CUT TIM TEBOW.

No. Let me fix that for you.

A Few Thoughts On the Deflategate Verdict

No. Just no.

1. Roger Goodell will almost certainly be fired. He had one job - keep things good for the owners - and he failed. He alienated his biggest supporter, embarassed the league, and hurt the brand. Someone more pliable and less addicted to the limelight will be filling his chair shortly.

On the Ascent of Kirk Cousins

So Kirk Cousins, a Bobby Hoying for the new generation, is the starting quarterback for the Washington [insert less racist term here]s, not only for week 1 but for the entire season.

Bottom of the Ninth

Not seeing Carl Furillo Anywhere On That Field

Went to the last home game of the season for the Carolina Mudcats on Sunday, taking my father, my nephew and my brother-in-law for a bit of a family outing. Baseball games - Durham Bulls or Carolina Mudcats - have become much more of a thing for us since my parents moved down here. When I was growing up in Philadelphia, we were lucky to make one game a season. Too expensive, too much of a hassle, too crazy a schedule - my father's professional travel made mine look positively sedate - you name it. But once my folks got down here (by way of Atlanta - don't ask), it turned into a thing. A place to go where we, sometimes joined by nephew and/or brother-in-law and sometimes not - could just go, and sit, and not have to do anything but be in each other's company for a couple of hours while guys in long pajamas ran around the bases and won or lost as the circumstances dictated. 

Jordy Nelson and God’s Plan

Roger Goodell has taken a lot of flak for having too much power in the NFL.  He is the judge, jury, and executioner of discipline. He is ruling on moral issues more than any commissioner before him.  He is on a personal witch hunt against the Patriots and Tom Brady, when he’s not hugging Robert Kraft. He has too much influence on the game!  Who cares if that’s what everyone voted for and agreed to, we don’t like it anymore!

A Tale of Three Coaches

Right now there are two stories involving college football coaches getting airplay.

One comes to us from that hotbed of ethical footballing (paging Pete Carroll, err, Lane Kiffin, err, Reggie Bush, err, never mind) USC. At their annual "Salute to Troy", which, presumably does not involve a bunch of Mycenaeans sacking the campus from inside a big wooden horse, football coach Steve Sarkisian got liquored up and said a bunch of things that USC fans say all the time. Caught on audio, Sarkisian talks about, among other things, how various conference rivals of the Trojans, and I quote here, "suck".

Who Let The Dogs Out?

The Pittsburgh Steelers have signed convicted animal abuser Michael Vick to a one year contract as backup to Ben Roethlisberger. There are a wide variety of reactions to this from "OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO GO ROOT FOR THE PATRIOTS NOW!" to "Whatever" to "Who?" to "Where are we going and what's with this handbasket?"

There's a Topical Cream For This, You Know

Spotted on an ESPN chyron today:

"Is Ohio State Already Crumbling Under Pressure To Repeat" (roughly).

I don't know. Let's see them play an actual game first and maybe, just maybe we can find out. 

On Tiger Being "Back"

Dear Golf Writers And Commentators:

Tiger Woods is not "back". Tiger Woods will never be "back", at least not as you describe it. He will not come back to make golf more interesting. He will not come back to chase Jack Nicklaus' record number of majors. He will not ever be the Tiger Woods of 2000-2010 you are so desperate for.

Which means you can stop doing the following things:

16Ks and What Do You Get?

There are a lot of reasons to go to a ballgame. Spending time with friends and/or family. Satisfying a craving for ballpark hot dogs. Watching the actual game. You know, all sorts of things.

Stick a Fork In Him (But Save The Crab Legs)

Overheard the other night while driving home from the office: Two ESPN radio chuckleheads debating whether it was too soon to call #1 overall pick Jameis Winston a bust.

Self-Evident Truths

These ten things we at Sportsthodoxy hold to be self-evident:

1. There is no such thing as an "elite" quarterback, and any argument over who is or is not elite is purest bullshit. This is why video games are better than football; in video games, you know when you level.

Worth the Money

There may be nothing stupider on sports talk radio than the "Does Player X deserve his contract?" discussion1. It stems from a place of envy and ignorance, namely, that athletes are overpaid and thus we as fans should be the arbiter of their worthiness. (the "We pay your salary!" cri de cornhole is the worst manifestation of this nonsense. No, sir no matter how many $12 Bud Lights you've purchased at the ballpark, you're not paying A-Rod's salary. Not even a little bit of it.) The unspoken answer is always "No", and the real debate is "can said player do enough to get us to forgive him for making that much money?"

Trade Deadline's Winners And Losers

Every major event on the sporting calendar is accompanied by a flurry of "Winners/Losers" articles. Drafts, trade deadlines, free agency periods, you name it, and the MBL non-waiver deadline is no exception. And if you look around, you'll see a ton of pieces mostly spitting up the same points over and over: The Blue Jays, Royals and Astros won, the Phillies got decent value for Hamels, and we're stunned San Diego didn't do anything. (Not entirely true: they added Mark Rzepczynski). But we here at Sportsthodoxy like to dig deeper, and to expose the unorthodox winners and losers. And maybe, just maybe, to frame the debate in terms of obscure late-period Muppets. So without further ado:

Here's Some Heresy For You

As long as Alex Rodriguez has been in New York, he's been a mess. He's been awkward with the media, he's been an occasional jerkface, he's had issues in the clubhouse, and he's been about as media-savvy as a sasquatch confronted with a smartphone. Never has a Yankee been so widely hated, even when he was producing well; once the production dried up and the allegations started, the NewYork papers piled on him like he was one of David Dinkins' last remaining political appointees.

Kraft-to-English Translation

Roughly speaking, this is what Patriots owner Robert Kraft said in his epic meltdown over the NFL's decision to uphold Tom Brady's suspension:

Things to Remember About DeflateGate

In No Particular Order:

And That Might Be A Wrap, Cole Hamels Edition

Also, the winner of the Phillies "Sam Winchester Cosplay Contest" six years running

Congratulations to Cole Hamels for throwing a no-hitter against his possible future employer, the Chicago Cubs, yesterday. Almost certainly the best pitcher the Phillies have developed since Robin Roberts (who else? Bruce Ruffin? Marty Bystrom? Tyler Green?), Hamels is wasted on a Phillies team that's going nowhere and won't be ready to contend for about another 3 years. He's also cost-controlled, with 3 more years left on his contract, and he's pretty durable, all of which make him an obvious candidate to be moved.  

Confession: I Am Fascinated By The 76ers

I swear, I don't know how I got on this court with professional basketball players!

The Philadelphia 76ers are awful. As they currently stand, they are a horribly constructed basketball team with an overabundance of tall men who will not play basketball for them this season, a veritable armada of D-League guys soaking up second half minutes, and nobody on the roster who can distribute the ball without tripping over it. They won 18 games last year. This year, with former top pick and potential franchise player Joel Embiid getting knocked out for another year by a broken foot and the very real possibility of JaKarr Sampson making the roster, they may be worse. 

File This One Under Irony

Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is throwing tantrums all over the internet over DeAndre Jordan's decision to back out of an oral deal and re-sign with the Los Angeles Clippers for roughly equal money. (NBA salary money is not real money, and then you get into state income taxes and the sorts of insane clawbacks that numbskulls like Scott Walker are trying to implement and, well, forget it. Suffice to say that the Jordan family will probably be doing just fine for a long time regardless.)

Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is, in essence, mad at Jordan for being selfish and not honoring his oral agreement.

Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is a huge fan of libertarian doorstop manufacturer and author Ayn Rand.

One of Rand's best-known works (besides "I will bang your much younger boyfriend because Philosophy") is entitled "The Virtue of Selfishness".

Suck it, Mark Cuban.

4 Views of DeAndre Jordan

Paul Pierce Instagrammed a what?

The sports world has lost its collective mind over the recent pas de deux performed by DeAndre Jordan with the Dallas Mavericks and Los Angeles Clippers. There were hijinks, there was low comedy, there are people coming out of the woodwork to offer their hot takes on the ethical ramifications (It's NBA free agency. Ethics need not apply) and there's a whole lot of money. But the things, most people mistakenly view this as a basketball story about a guy who agreed to a deal with one team but regretted it and was talked into going back to his old one, albeit for a giant pile of smackeroonies. 

On Pre-All Star Game Coverage

Dear People Who Are Being Paid To Write About The MLB All-Star Game Roster Selections:

Should A-Rod be an All Star?

The guy you love to hate is back...and this time with legacy on his mind.

Alex Rodriguez served his time for his PED usage...again, but has turned out to be a very pleasant surprise for the Yankees this season. Does that make him an All Star?

The Last Ryno

These two statements are both true:

Ryne Sandberg could never have succeeded as manager of the Philadelphia Phillies.
Ryne Sandberg could not have failed more miserably as manager of the Philadelphia Phillies.