Things Broadcasters Are Forced to Say

The real proof that football season lasts too long is in listening to commentators desperately trying to fill air time as things stretch on and on.

Take, for example, respected and generally with-it CBSSports.com reporter Will Brinson, who, when discussing the coke-fueled bouncy house party that the ECU coaching carousel became, sternly suggested that East Carolina could not possibly succeed in a conference with teams like Houston if they kept scheduling powerhouses like Virginia Tech. Houston, the AAC champion, instead scheduled Louisville, and there's no comparison between scheduling VT and scheduling Louisville.

Your Weekly ACC Football Roundup: Week 2

(a.k.a. "We have a problem and it's Houston)
24.
20.
31.
76.
55.
39.
55.
35.
39.
17.

These are the scores by which ACC teams beat up on their regularly scheduled tomato cans last Saturday.

Petrino Tells Louisville "Take Me Back, Baby, I've Changed"

Not actually Bobby Petrino - note the lack of motorcycle

Bobby Petrino.

That's all you have to say. Any time anyone starts talking about the mission of college football or how coaches mold young men or the stern character lessons instilled in weight rooms and spring practices, just say "Bobby Petrino".

Why? Because Louisville, having lost their head coach to Texas (and my, weren't some of the Horns faithful charming about that - remember, Red McCombs made Ziggy Wilf look good) signed on for a second go-round with Petrino. Why? Because he wins football games, and that means nothing else he did matters.

Because We Are Nothing If Not Timely...

Some thoughts on the NCAA basketball title game, courtesy of our own Sean Kiley...

So I don’t watch a lot of college basketball during the regular season. I just find regular season games to be boring as hell and all very similar. I have, however, in the past, taken the day off of work to watch the first day of the tournament. (I said I was “sick with March Madness.” I actually used that when I missed a class in college. The professor was Pakistani, and thought it was a legitimate illness until the other guys in the class started snickering.) I really think that the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament is the best sporting event of the year. No seven game series, upsets galore, and kids playing their hearts out, living and dying with every lead change. I missed out last year, not having the time to watch most of the tournament. I’ve had two reasons to get into the tournament more this year:

Why Your Team Won't Win The NCAAs, Part I

Right now, there are 67 teams that think they can win the NCAA basketball tournament. (Harvard, on the other hand, thinks they can just buy the entire operation, and so playing in it is kind of pointless.) There are reasons each of these teams thinks they can pull it off, ranging from the perfectly logical ("We're Duke") to the perfectly specious ("Our mascot could eat their mascot"). That being said, only 1 team can be crowned the winner, which means everyone else will fall by the wayside. Here's a look at the reasons some of your favorite squads are doomed: