Friday, October 16, 2015

102 FBS stadiums and counting

Going to try to make this post a little jazzier (and shorter) than my previous ones.  For those who have been reading my posts, thanks so much.  And for any new readers, welcome aboard - let me fill you in briefly on what's going down here.

I am on a mission to see all 129 FBS stadiums, or in other words, a home game for every FBS team.  So far I have been to 105 of them, but I am behind, so this post will be about my 102nd stadium visit.  I do write stadium reviews of some of the ones I visits on StadiumJourney.com, so please check out my reviews there (http://www.stadiumjourney.com/member/Aaron%20S.%20Terry).

Thursday, October 15, 2015

101 Stadiums & Counting, Part 2


So I have not written for a while, if anyone is keeping track.  Had a lot of things going on outside of football (wait, what?  You have other interests besides football?  For shame!).

Yeah, I know.  But the boss hasn't fussed at me yet so here goes.

In my last post (9/13) I mentioned I am trying to visit all 129 FBS stadiums (I still count UAB as one b/c they are bringing football back).  That whole thing was ridiculous, by the way.  They shut down UAB football to keep UAB from getting any of 'Bama's good recruits.  Really?  How many of 'Bama's good recruits was UAB GETTING, anyway?  And who could blame them anyway for wanting to play instead of riding the pine for the almost National Champions every year?

ACC Weekly Roundup: Week 6 - The Clemsoning

Dear Dabo Swinney:

Originally this was going to be the weekly writeup of all things ACC football, but two things happened. One, when I sat down to write that the only words that would appear onscreen were "SOUTH FLORIDA ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" And two, during your press conference, you said something that overshadowed the rest of the weekend's fairly pedestrian slate of games.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Takeout Slide Down the Slippery Slope

The Law of Unexpected Consequences broke Ruben Tejada's leg.

I mean, sure, Chase Utley did the actual deed, no doubt finally releasing all that pent-up anger from when John Lannan broke his hand and knocked him out of the playoffs in 2007, but that's not the point. Or at least not this point.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Randy Edsall Fired

And we can't say we're sad about it.

The Line Between Terp and Derp

In college sports, "It's about the kids" is the last refuge of the scoundrel.

Friday, October 09, 2015

Morning Link - Jeb Lund on Daily Fantasy

If you play daily fantasy sports, you are an aphid. 

Jeb Lund nails it here. 

Your Weekly ACC Roundup - Week 5

Random thoughts as we prepare for Friday night's clash of...mmm, "Titans" isn't really the word for a NC State - Virginia Tech clash, is it.

Wednesday, October 07, 2015

Wild Card Notes

Things we know after the Astros quietly garroted the Yankees in the AL Wild Card game:

Tuesday, October 06, 2015

Good on C.C.

There's a famous story, possibly apocryphal, about hard-drinking former Yankees pitcher Ryne Duren. Supposedly, on a road trip, Duren staggered back to the team hotel well after curfew and well and truly pickled. He got on the elevator with a Yankees exec who, used to Duren's drinking but not a fan of it, sniffed, "Drunk again." Duran just smiled and said, "Me, too!"

Some versions of the story have the Yankees exec as GM George Weiss. Others say it's Casey Stengel. Honestly, it doesn't matter.

Sunday, October 04, 2015

Last Day

It is the last day of baseball's regular season.

Roughly 40% of the games being played have some sort of meaningful implication for the playoffs - who gets in, who doesn't, will there be tiebreakers, who gets home field advantage. 

Thursday, October 01, 2015

Your ACC Weekly Roundup: 4 on the Floor

Week 4 was a relatively short one for the ACC, with only 9 games involving league teams on the schedule. Then again, considering how the higher-profile games turned out, 9 might have been too many.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Friday, September 25, 2015

Your Weekly ACC Roundup: Third Time's Not Terribly Charming

It could have been a lot worse.

Mind you, it could have been a lot better. The ACC was favored in 9 of 10 games with non-conference opponents in week 3; they won 7, including 3 out of 5 from the soft white underbelly of the B1G.


Thursday, September 24, 2015

RIP Yogi Berra

All right thinking people hate the Yankees.

All right thinking people especially hate the unbeatable Yankees of the 1940s and 1950s, the Casey Stengel era of effortless dominance.

And all right thinking people resent the endless mythologizing of those Yankees over some of the worthier players from that era. See also: Phil Rizzuto, Hall of Famer. 

But.

There was always an exception for Yogi.

Godspeed, Yogi. When you get to the fork in the road upstairs, take it.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Your Weekly ACC Football Roundup: Week 2

(a.k.a. "We have a problem and it's Houston)
24.
20.
31.
76.
55.
39.
55.
35.
39.
17.

These are the scores by which ACC teams beat up on their regularly scheduled tomato cans last Saturday.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

10 Key Questions For This NFL Season

As kickoff for the first full slate of games approaches, we must ask ourselves:


1-What will Bill Belichick have to do on the field to get Patriots fans to admit he doesn't always play entirely by the rules:

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Your Weekly ACC Football Roundup, Week 1

There is a very simple rule for early-season ACC football. It goes something like this:
If an ACC team plays a school from a non-power conference (usually Elon), they win big. If they play a school from a power conference, they lose.

Wednesday, September 09, 2015

101 FBS Stadiums and Counting, Part 1

So to start off, I have to say that my title is slightly misleading.  I have actually been to a lot more stadiums than 101, including pro, college, and even high school.  But it takes more words to be precise, so I usually opt out.

Thanks For the Great Summer NBA TV!

Here we are.  The day before the NFL returns – which is my personal mark for the end of summer.  This is when the sports world gets interesting again (for me) as we have multiple sports with meaningful contests on a daily/weekly basis.  Normally in July/August, I spend way too much time following training camps, free agency, and reports from practice.  Watching the NFL Network in the summer can leave with that guilty feeling of wasting hours of your life and getting dumber, similar to the feeling to realizing that Nick at Nite has been on in the background for hours.

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Top 10 Benefits of MLB.TV

Dr. Mrs. the Sportsthodoxy and I just cut the cord on cable, choosing instead to go with a combination of Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Crackle, YouTube and about a million other options, none of which let us actually watch this week's Rick and Morty. But along with that, we got the MLB.TV package, which has become something of an obsession. Here, then, are the ten best things about watching games on MLB.TV:


Friday, September 04, 2015

A Few Thoughts On the Deflategate Verdict

No. Just no.




  1. Roger Goodell will almost certainly be fired. He had one job - keep things good for the owners - and he failed. He alienated his biggest supporter, embarassed the league, and hurt the brand. Someone more pliable and less addicted to the limelight will be filling his chair shortly.

Thursday, September 03, 2015

On the Ascent of Kirk Cousins

So Kirk Cousins, a Bobby Hoying for the new generation, is the starting quarterback for the Washington [insert less racist term here]s, not only for week 1 but for the entire season.

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Bottom of the Ninth


Not seeing Carl Furillo Anywhere On That Field
Went to the last home game of the season for the Carolina Mudcats on Sunday, taking my father, my nephew and my brother-in-law for a bit of a family outing. Baseball games - Durham Bulls or Carolina Mudcats - have become much more of a thing for us since my parents moved down here. When I was growing up in Philadelphia, we were lucky to make one game a season. Too expensive, too much of a hassle, too crazy a schedule - my father's professional travel made mine look positively sedate - you name it. But once my folks got down here (by way of Atlanta - don't ask), it turned into a thing. A place to go where we, sometimes joined by nephew and/or brother-in-law and sometimes not - could just go, and sit, and not have to do anything but be in each other's company for a couple of hours while guys in long pajamas ran around the bases and won or lost as the circumstances dictated. 

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Jordy Nelson and God’s Plan


Roger Goodell has taken a lot of flak for having too much power in the NFL.  He is the judge, jury, and executioner of discipline. He is ruling on moral issues more than any commissioner before him.  He is on a personal witch hunt against the Patriots and Tom Brady, when he’s not hugging Robert Kraft. He has too much influence on the game!  Who cares if that’s what everyone voted for and agreed to, we don’t like it anymore!

Friday, August 28, 2015

A Tale of Three Coaches

Right now there are two stories involving college football coaches getting airplay.

One comes to us from that hotbed of ethical footballing (paging Pete Carroll, err, Lane Kiffin, err, Reggie Bush, err, never mind) USC. At their annual "Salute to Troy", which, presumably does not involve a bunch of Mycenaeans sacking the campus from inside a big wooden horse, football coach Steve Sarkisian got liquored up and said a bunch of things that USC fans say all the time. Caught on audio, Sarkisian talks about, among other things, how various conference rivals of the Trojans, and I quote here, "suck".

Who Let The Dogs Out?

The Pittsburgh Steelers have signed convicted animal abuser Michael Vick to a one year contract as backup to Ben Roethlisberger. There are a wide variety of reactions to this from "OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO GO ROOT FOR THE PATRIOTS NOW!" to "Whatever" to "Who?" to "Where are we going and what's with this handbasket?"

Thursday, August 27, 2015

There's a Topical Cream For This, You Know

Spotted on an ESPN chyron today:

"Is Ohio State Already Crumbling Under Pressure To Repeat" (roughly).

I don't know. Let's see them play an actual game first and maybe, just maybe we can find out. 

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

On Tiger Being "Back"

Dear Golf Writers And Commentators:

Tiger Woods is not "back". Tiger Woods will never be "back", at least not as you describe it. He will not come back to make golf more interesting. He will not come back to chase Jack Nicklaus' record number of majors. He will not ever be the Tiger Woods of 2000-2010 you are so desperate for.

Which means you can stop doing the following things:

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

16Ks and What Do You Get?

There are a lot of reasons to go to a ballgame. Spending time with friends and/or family. Satisfying a craving for ballpark hot dogs. Watching the actual game. You know, all sorts of things.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Stick a Fork In Him (But Save The Crab Legs)

Overheard the other night while driving home from the office: Two ESPN radio chuckleheads debating whether it was too soon to call #1 overall pick Jameis Winston a bust.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Self-Evident Truths

These ten things we at Sportsthodoxy hold to be self-evident:


  1. There is no such thing as an "elite" quarterback, and any argument over who is or is not elite is purest bullshit. This is why video games are better than football; in video games, you know when you level.

Saturday, August 08, 2015

Worth the Money

There may be nothing stupider on sports talk radio than the "Does Player X deserve his contract?" discussion1. It stems from a place of envy and ignorance, namely, that athletes are overpaid and thus we as fans should be the arbiter of their worthiness. (the "We pay your salary!" cri de cornhole is the worst manifestation of this nonsense. No, sir no matter how many $12 Bud Lights you've purchased at the ballpark, you're not paying A-Rod's salary. Not even a little bit of it.) The unspoken answer is always "No", and the real debate is "can said player do enough to get us to forgive him for making that much money?"

Monday, August 03, 2015

Trade Deadline's Winners And Losers


Every major event on the sporting calendar is accompanied by a flurry of "Winners/Losers" articles. Drafts, trade deadlines, free agency periods, you name it, and the MBL non-waiver deadline is no exception. And if you look around, you'll see a ton of pieces mostly spitting up the same points over and over: The Blue Jays, Royals and Astros won, the Phillies got decent value for Hamels, and we're stunned San Diego didn't do anything. (Not entirely true: they added Mark Rzepczynski). But we here at Sportsthodoxy like to dig deeper, and to expose the unorthodox winners and losers. And maybe, just maybe, to frame the debate in terms of obscure late-period Muppets. So without further ado:

Saturday, August 01, 2015

Here's Some Heresy For You

As long as Alex Rodriguez has been in New York, he's been a mess. He's been awkward with the media, he's been an occasional jerkface, he's had issues in the clubhouse, and he's been about as media-savvy as a sasquatch confronted with a smartphone. Never has a Yankee been so widely hated, even when he was producing well; once the production dried up and the allegations started, the NewYork papers piled on him like he was one of David Dinkins' last remaining political appointees.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Kraft-to-English Translation

Roughly speaking, this is what Patriots owner Robert Kraft said in his epic meltdown over the NFL's decision to uphold Tom Brady's suspension:

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Sunday, July 26, 2015

And That Might Be A Wrap, Cole Hamels Edition

Also, the winner of the Phillies "Sam Winchester Cosplay Contest" six years running
Congratulations to Cole Hamels for throwing a no-hitter against his possible future employer, the Chicago Cubs, yesterday. Almost certainly the best pitcher the Phillies have developed since Robin Roberts (who else? Bruce Ruffin? Marty Bystrom? Tyler Green?), Hamels is wasted on a Phillies team that's going nowhere and won't be ready to contend for about another 3 years. He's also cost-controlled, with 3 more years left on his contract, and he's pretty durable, all of which make him an obvious candidate to be moved.  

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Confession: I Am Fascinated By The 76ers

I swear, I don't know how I got on this court with professional basketball players!
The Philadelphia 76ers are awful. As they currently stand, they are a horribly constructed basketball team with an overabundance of tall men who will not play basketball for them this season, a veritable armada of D-League guys soaking up second half minutes, and nobody on the roster who can distribute the ball without tripping over it. They won 18 games last year. This year, with former top pick and potential franchise player Joel Embiid getting knocked out for another year by a broken foot and the very real possibility of JaKarr Sampson making the roster, they may be worse. 

Monday, July 13, 2015

File This One Under Irony

Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is throwing tantrums all over the internet over DeAndre Jordan's decision to back out of an oral deal and re-sign with the Los Angeles Clippers for roughly equal money. (NBA salary money is not real money, and then you get into state income taxes and the sorts of insane clawbacks that numbskulls like Scott Walker are trying to implement and, well, forget it. Suffice to say that the Jordan family will probably be doing just fine for a long time regardless.)

Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is, in essence, mad at Jordan for being selfish and not honoring his oral agreement.

Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is a huge fan of libertarian doorstop manufacturer and author Ayn Rand.

One of Rand's best-known works (besides "I will bang your much younger boyfriend because Philosophy") is entitled "The Virtue of Selfishness".

Suck it, Mark Cuban.

Friday, July 10, 2015

4 Views of DeAndre Jordan

Paul Pierce Instagrammed a what?
The sports world has lost its collective mind over the recent pas de deux performed by DeAndre Jordan with the Dallas Mavericks and Los Angeles Clippers. There were hijinks, there was low comedy, there are people coming out of the woodwork to offer their hot takes on the ethical ramifications (It's NBA free agency. Ethics need not apply) and there's a whole lot of money. But the things, most people mistakenly view this as a basketball story about a guy who agreed to a deal with one team but regretted it and was talked into going back to his old one, albeit for a giant pile of smackeroonies. 

Tuesday, July 07, 2015

On Pre-All Star Game Coverage

Dear People Who Are Being Paid To Write About The MLB All-Star Game Roster Selections:

Saturday, July 04, 2015

Should A-Rod be an All Star?


The guy you love to hate is back...and this time with legacy on his mind.

Alex Rodriguez served his time for his PED usage...again, but has turned out to be a very pleasant surprise for the Yankees this season. Does that make him an All Star?

Friday, July 03, 2015

The Last Ryno

These two statements are both true:

Ryne Sandberg could never have succeeded as manager of the Philadelphia Phillies.
Ryne Sandberg could not have failed more miserably as manager of the Philadelphia Phillies.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

RU RUTGERS?

Once a year, the nice folks over at Off Tackle Empire at SB Nation ask me to write something that is tangentially about Rutgers University football. As Rutgers is to football as Olive Garden is to fine Italian cuisine (but with fewer breadsticks), this is what you'd call a target-rich environment.

Here's this year's rendition, which asks the question: who is the Rutgers of every other major football conference. And remember - if you look around the ACC and don't see the Rutgers, you are the Rutgers.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Rose to the Occasion

A rose by any other name would still put fifty bucks on the Padres at home
Here are the things you need to understand about the latest Pete Rose gambling "revelation":

Friday, June 19, 2015

Hack'n'Slush

"Now batting for the St. Louis Cardinals, Number One..."
Players aren't the only ones that cheat. Organizations cheat all the time. The Patriots - dear God, let's not talk about the Patriots. The New York Giants stole signs all the way to Bobby Thompson's home run off Ralph Branca. George Toma was a master of turning the Kansas City baselines into either racetrack or swamp, depending on whom the Royals were playing. Branch Rickey spun off forty-zillion farm clubs so he could sign all the talent and have it rot away in the minors rather than let anyone else have it.


So in one sense, what the Cardinals allegedly did by hacking the Astros is nothing new. In another sense, it's very new, because this sort of interstate computer skullduggery is exactly the sort of thing the Feds take very seriously, largely because if they nail the Cardinals' hide to the wall here, it sets up a lovely precedent for when they go after Goldman Sachs should they be so inclined. And has been pointed out elsewhere, the Feds are not inclined to play nice when it comes to baseball, largely because nailing baseball's hide to the wall is the sort of high-PR low-risk move they're hungry for. See also: Barry Bonds, trial of.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

In the Wake of the Triple Crown

Not actually American Pharoah. Either of them.
It has now been one week since American Pharoah won horse racing's triple crown, the first horse to do so in an exceedingly long time. This singular event, like the long-awaited Mayweather-Pacquiao bout, was supposed to breathe life into a sport that has slipped steadily away from the limelight over the past couple of decades, and indeed, it did briefly wash up against the shores of the national sports conversation.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Bold NBA Finals Prediction.

I don't care what happens tonight. The Warriors are going to win the NBA Finals.

Saturday, June 06, 2015

Things We Think About What Happened At FIFA

In light of the arrests that have rocked FIFA and the even more shocking resignation of newly re-elected FIFA President Sepp "Baron Harkonnen" Blatter, it's time to take a measured look at what it all really means. To wit:


  1. BWAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAAH. I mean, somewhere, John Oliver just wet himself laughing. 

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Your NBA Playoff Narratives

There are two possible outcomes of the NBA playoffs:

1-The Cleveland Cavaliers win the championship.

2-The Cleveland Cavaliers do not with the championship.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Regime Change In Miami

What, me, manage?
Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria has fired his manager, well-regarded former catcher Mike Redmond, and replaced him with team GM Dan Jennings.

This is, in a word, insane. Jennings hasn't managed since he was wrangling high school kids in the 80s, and while I'm not a huge fan of the "you had to play the game to know how to coach it" school of thought, there are limits. This has the potential to get very ugly, very fast, especially if the clubhouse tunes out the suit who's sitting where Redmond used to  be. (Then again, he's the GM and he negotiates contracts. Maybe we'll see massive sucking up instead.)

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Touchy About Feeley

You can pretty much anticipate the reaction of sports fans to any piece of news to come down the pike. At this point, the data set is large enough and the behaviors visible enough that you can generally skip the story and already know what the comments sections are going to be like.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The Sounds of Deflategate's Aftermath

The following are the sounds of the Tom Brady suspension:

(Brady, for those of you living on Mars, has been suspended for four games next season for his role in "Deflategate". In addition, the New England Patriots have been fined a million dollars and stripped of two draft picks, a #1 in 2016 and a #4 in 2017. And the two Patriots employees who carried out the nefarious plan have been suspended indefinitely without pay, but they don't actually play football so nobody appears to care about them. But I digress.)

"IT'S NOT FAIR THE LEAGUE HAS IT OUT FOR US BECAUSE WE'RE SO AWESOME" - The sound of the New England Patriots fan, who is constitutionally incapable of admitting that Tom Terrific or indeed any of his heroes could ever possibly conceive of ever possibly doing any possible thing ever wrong - unlike those mooks who play for the Jets, who are just the scum of the Earth. Until they come play for the Patriots, at which point they're awesome. Until they leave to go back to play for the Jets again.

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

About the Bout

The Mayweather-Pacquiao fight was proof that boxing's time is over. The American sporting landscape is no longer interested in watching two men brutalize each other in largely uninteresting shoving matches artificially constrained by an esoteric set of rules. These days, the preference is for MMA, which offers watching two men (or women) brutalize each other in largely uninteresting shoving matches artificially constrained by an esoteric set of rules that reinforces the Gracie family dynasty, but which gives the impression of being wild and unconstrained.

Friday, May 01, 2015

NFL Draft Round 1 Thoughts

You remember how absolutely everyone was convinced that the Eagles were absolutely certain to trade Sam Bradford and a bunch of other cool toys to Cleveland to get Johnny Manziel and a bunch of #1 picks that they could then trade to Tennessee for the #2 overall pick except that Tennessee would also be getting Bradford and possibly free pony rides?

Yeah, me neither.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Top 10 Most Likely Philadelphia Eagles Draft Picks

Two possible Eagles picks working out at the team's complex
It has been an eventful offseason for the Eagles and their coach/GM/resident supervillain Chip Kelly. He has traded quarterbacks, signed quarterbacks, traded for quarterbacks that nobody thought he had any interest in, ditched running backs, signed running backs, and generally treated the whole offseason like one long day at DraftKings.com. That being said, it all comes down to this week's draft, and while various pundits have offered up their (almost inevitably wrong) predictions as to what the Chipster will do, we at Sportsthodoxy think we've got a handle on the ten most likely possibilities:

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

A Calm, Rational Reaction To the Tebow Signing

So the Eagles have signed Tim Tebow.

Speculation as to the likely reaction from the Philadelphia sports talk radio crowd below the fold:

Monday, April 20, 2015

On Baseball's Long Season

One of the things I love most about baseball is the fact that the season is so long. There's plenty of time for narratives to play out, for players to rise and fall and then redeem themselves. Developments have time to mature and manifest fully, with clearly traceable arcs that reward the patient viewer.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

An Important Note On Fantasy Baseball


No, not that kind of baseball nerd

Nobody actually wants to listen to you talk about your fantasy team.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Important Pre-NFL Draft Reminders

Never Forget John Rutsey

As the lumbering behemoth that is the NFL draft bars down on us like an inevitable bad character decision in The Walking Dead, it's time to take a few minutes and go over the most important things for you, the fan, to remember going into the three day festival of all things Mel Kiper Jr.'s hair. Most notably:

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Buck You

Still a Deer
Dear Owners of the Milwaukee Bucks:

I realize that the Rebranding and New Logo are necessary steps in the ritual dance of Get The Public To Pay For A New Arena. I appreciate that you did not suddenly decide to change the franchise's name to the Cheesemongers or the Zombie Unicorns or the Brett Favres. 

Sunday, April 05, 2015

Badger Badger

In the wake of last night's upset of undefeated #1 seed Kentucky, and the subsequent crumpling in disgust of brackets everywhere except the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill region of North Carolina, I give you, without comment, this:

Saturday, April 04, 2015

On Hamilton

On a police procedural television show, they usually establish the suspect's guilt by laying down motive and opportunity.

In the case of the ongoing leaks - which, incidentally, are in direct violation of the MLB labor agreement - about Josh Hamilton's apparent relapse this winter, the Angels have motive. They have opportunity. And if they were any more cartoonish about this, Fred and Daphne would be pulling a rubber head off Arte Moreno and shouting "Old Man Smithers!"

Friday, April 03, 2015

True Confession: Why I'm Rooting For Duke

Confession time: my bracket got blown up in the first game of the NCAA tournament (No, I'm not counting the nonsense in Dayton). I'd picked Iowa State as a dark horse for a Final Four run, based on their remarkable, unflappable drive to the Big 12 championship and their ability to rally from double-digit deficits. So naturally they got ambushed by the University that Ate Birmingham and went out 40 minutes into the whole shebang.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Ten Things I Think I Think About Sports This Week

"Also, Bill Buckner in '86? Totally caused by aliens."

  1. The Philadelphia 76ers, a team that is actively trying to be bad, does not have the worst record in the NBA this season. They don't even have the second-worst, and at least one of the teams they're ahead of was supposed to be a contender this year. Which means either the Sixers can't even screw up right, or, man, do certain people in New York and Minnesota need to feel ashamed.

Friday, March 20, 2015

On Yard Goats And Crappy Cabernets


Now this is a badass mascot-worthy goat. That's a goddamn mountain he's jumping off.


So there's now a minor league team called, and I quote, "The Hartford Yard Goats". Leaving aside any opinions one might or might not have about Hartford and why it's a travesty they didn't name the team "The Whalers", it is, to be blunt, ridiculous. As mascots go, a "yard goat" - literally, a goat that someone keeps in their backyard - is about as inspiring as calling your team "The Shrubs" or "The Goddamn Opossums That Keep Getting Into My Garbage Cans" or "The Crabgrass". It's not the sort of mascot you rally around, it's not exciting, and it's not traditional, and even as we speak a zillion baseball bluehairs are frothing over how the Yard Goats (who had the perfectly good name of Rock Cats until earlier this week) are a disgrace to our proud baseball history of Lugnuts and Sand Gnats and Isotopes. 

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Twelve Things We Learned From the NCAA Tournament Bracket



There are certain things we learn every year on Selection Sunday: who made the cut, who didn't. What teams got screwed by their seeding and which ones got an easy path to the Sweet 16. And then there's the deeper learning, the true lessons imparted by the deeper subtext of the bracket itself. To wit:

Sunday, March 15, 2015

5 Reasons Philadelphia Doesn't Hate The Sixers


The national basketball media remains fascinated with the Philadelphia Experiment being carried out by GM Sam Hinkie. Largely, they're against it - in their minds, it is nobler to strive endlessly for mediocrity (with the implied "and then get out of the way for the glamour teams" that goes with it) than attempt radical reconstruction in an attempt to improve themselves. But interestingly enough, the fans in Philadelphia have largely ignored the doom-and-gloom narrative around the team, which may in fact be some kind of first. Here's five reasons that's the case:

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Battle Of The Spring Training Sites

There are those who claim that spring training baseball is best in Arizona, and those who think it is best in Florida. Fans of Arizona point to the extensive list of local restaurants provided by Keith Law during his ESPN chats and the fact that all of the teams train close together, while fans of Florida like to point to the tradition of spring training there, the resorts, and the fact that it isn’t Arizona. However, in this age of statistical analysis of everything, it seems obvious that the only way we will ever get to the bottom of this debate is with a head to head comparison, to enable us - the fans - to determine which spring training state is truly the best of all.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Twenty Stories We Can Expect To See Out Of Spring Training This Year

  1. Rangers suffer blow to their rotation with injury
  2. Rangers suffer second blow to rotation with injury
  3. Rangers petition AL to allow opposing teams to hit off a tee this year

Saturday, March 07, 2015

Consider the Source

One of Buster Olney's confidential sources
Consider the source.

Heading into what will almost certainly be a lost season for them, the Phillies have themselves a very valuable asset in the form of Cole Hamels. Hamels is a very good pitcher who is rather expensive but not outrageously so, and a great many teams would be improved by having Hamels in their rotation. [Assume I've just done a lengthy bit on marginal wins here, and trust me that it's not worth it for a team like the Phillies to keep him around instead of flipping him for young talent; 70 wins + some prospects who could help you win next year > 75 wins.) 

Sunday, March 01, 2015

Tinfoil Angels Cap Alert

So your new baseball conspiracy theory, hot off the presses...

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Cleveland Redux

You remember when the Cleveland Cavaliers were, like, the worst team ever? When they were under .500 and the coach was about to get fired and the stars couldn't play together and LeBron was supposedly secretly tweeting that he wanted to go back to Miami and Kevin Love was being benched and ZOMG WORST TEAM EVER?

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Top 10 Least Likely A-Rod Related Headlines This Spring Training


10-A-Rod Admits He Actually Is A Centaur
9-Yankees Exec Admits To Not Really Caring What A-Rod Is Doing Every Minute Of Every Day
8-NY Post Writer Joel Sherman Hospitalized With A-Rod Related Dementia
7-Lupica: "We Should All Just Forgive And Forget A-Rod's Actually Minor Transgressions"
6-Trump: "I Have Absolutely No Opinion On A-Rod"
5-Rodriguez goes 0-3 in Spring Training Game; World Fails To End
4-A-Rod Responds To Critics With "Well, How Many of YOU Have Dated Cameron Diaz?"
3-Jeter Says Nice Thing About Rodriguez
2-Yankees Official Agrees to Attach Name To "Anonymous" Report of Management Displeasure With Rodriguez' Showing Up Early And Working Hard
1-New York Media Collectively Admits Rodriguez Coverage Is Overblown; Decides to Hound Chase Headley Instead

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Spring Training Is Here

Pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

On The Weapons-Grade Stupid In Wisconsin

The proposal from legally dubious Gov. Walker of Wisconsin to pay for a new stadium for the Milwaukee Bucks is in, and in any just or sane world it would provoke hysterical laughter. In so many words, it calls for the "athlete tax" - income taxes from pro athletes plying their trade in Wisconsin - to back $220M in bond revenues that can then be handed to the Wall Street vampires who bought the team. In return, the vampires in question, who have been drumming up support for this nonsense by bestowing tiny ownership slivers in the Bucks around town, will agree to take that money and not move the team. In other words, they will take $220M in arena bonds to continue to make money by largely doing nothing.

Sunday, February 08, 2015

On Rooting For An Awful Team

Your Phillies Marketing Department, Folks.
There is something to be said for being a fan of a terrible team.
I mean, sure, rooting for a winner is nice. Watching the team you back actually win it all is a great feeling, regardless of whether you then decide to move your couch onto the lawn so you can set it on fire to "celebrate" the victory. But even rooting for a team that doesn't go all the way - that just wins more than it loses - is nice. You get more good days than bad ones. More times when you got the desired result than the other guy, the guy who roots for the crappy team, did. More times when your choice of team to support seems like the right one.

And yet....

RIP Dean Smith

The only man on the planet who could keep Michael Jordan under 20 points per game.

Godspeed, Coach Smith

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Your Pete Carroll Conspiracy Theory Is Dumb

Normally in the wake of a close Super Bowl loss, the losing team's fans start indulging in conspiracy theories as to why their hometown heroes lost and they were deprived of the opportunity to set their favorite couches on fire in the street. The usual suspects include the refs, the NFL, organized crime and, presumably aliens, not necessarily in that order. A bad throw on 3rd and 9 becomes proof that the losing team's QB was being held in a basement somewhere by burly men from either Palermo or Murmansk (take your pick) who had wagered millions in Vegas; a blown call becomes evidence the refs have been ordered not to mess with one team's chances of winning.

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

The Ten People You Meet After Every Super Bowl

There are some who say that sports bring out the best in us. I disagree. Sports brings out the us in us, for good or for ill. And a big sporting event, like the Super Bowl, brings out really primal archetypes, ones that must be allowed to run free until at least mid-February. They include:

  1. The one who is convinced that by all rights and logic, their team actually won the game, and that it's just that pesky score thingie that came out inaccurate. Has endless reams of supporting evidence as to why this theory is correct, most of which boils down to "Well, we beat Jacksonville in Week 6"

Sunday, February 01, 2015

The Official Sportsthodoxy Super Bowl Drinking Game

Take one drink if...


  • Every time someone goes "Aww, come on!" over a non-existent holding or pass interference call.
  • Every time someone goes "Aww, come on!" over a holding or pass-interference non-call.
  • Someone says "I'm just here to watch the commercials."

Friday, January 30, 2015

Super Bowl 49 Coaching Breakdown

With Super Bowl Sunday fast approaching, it's important to get your scouting down right so you can know who's who at the big game.

Not the players, of course - we've long since passed the point where players were anything but the mechanistic imposers of their godlike coaches' will and schemes. Or so, at least, said coaches' agents will tell you, especially at contract renegotiation time. 

But with that in mind, here's your handy-dandy comparison/contrast of the two Super Bowl coaches:

Thursday, January 29, 2015

The Super Bowl Grift And Its Wider Applications

The dirty secret is out.

The mayor of Glendale, AZ - home to a football game you may have heard about this weekend - has gone on record as saying that hosting the Super Bowl is going to cost his city money.

This is, of course, anathema to the NFL and its mindless boosters. Look at all the money that will be spent, they howl. Look at all the exposure. They've already started pillorying the poor guy for daring to question the NFL's narrative. 

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

On Why My Dad Hates Pete Rose

Note: Not his actual signature
So here's the part of the story I didn't tell the other day. I'd shied away from it because it makes someone look bad, and the point of yesterday's piece was to try to maybe make folks feel a little better, but once Dad pulled the string on this one, it was full steam ahead.

To wit: Pete Rose was a jerk back in 1981, too.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

On Handwriting Worse Than Mine: Monte Irvin and the Uses of Nostalgia

So I'm looking at an old American Cancer Society event program that my folks got for me, back when they were officers in the New York chapter. The program is from an old banquet where they celebrated various sports figures, and my dad got various of the attendees to autograph it for me. There's five or so signatures in there, along with a couple of inspirational messages from figures that eleven year old me probably wasn't in any position to appreciate. But that didn't matter; my folks got it for me, and I've kept it and treasured it for thirty-plus years.

Friday, January 23, 2015

10 Things Social Pressure Is Forcing Me To Think About That Patriots Ball Thingie

Because if you're going to opine on something sportsish this week, it has to be the shriveled balls of New England.

  1. The compulsive need to "name" the "scandal" with something cute like Deflategate or Ballghazi is a stunning indictment of the mainstream sports media's inability to produce anything above lowest common denominator hurr-hurr-hurr material. That being said, I look forward to the day when Bill Belichick is caught rigging the turnstiles at Gillette Stadium and the resultant furor is labeled "Gategate".

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Why All Your Complaining About The Max Scherzer Contract Is Wrong

Former Detroit Tiger and possible Best Pitcher On The Planet Not Named Kershaw Max Scherzer signed a 7 year deal with the Nationals over the weekend with a reported dollar value of $210M. This has produced the usual freaking out from all quarters, all of which is conspicuously absent when an NFL player signs a big deal and all of which is complete hooey. To wit:

Monday, January 19, 2015

Cheatery and 3 Minute Drills


Thoughts on Division Championship Sunday
  1. In New England, "taking the air out of the ball" is no longer just a metaphor. If it is confirmed that the Patriots deliberately deflated game balls, that puts the league in an interesting position vis-a-vis who actually should be playing in the Super Bowl. (Word is the Pats will be penalized draft picks. Clearly, the penalty here is insufficient deterrent.) Alternately, it also puts certain members of the Patriots' support staff in imminent danger from individuals with the middle name "the" who wagered large amounts of money on Indy's ability to cover the spread.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

The Pitch Clock Is A Terrible Idea, Because The Hell With Subtlety

Meet MLB's New Pitch Clock. Yes, They're Starting It In The Minors. 
Why Do You Ask?
I will keep this simple.

Baseball does not need a pitch clock to speed up play.

This is not because baseball does not need to speed up its pace a bit.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Denver Kremlinology

There are two narratives for what's going on in Bronco-land right now. 

One is that the 39 year old quarterback who was blowing the doors off the league early in the season got hurt but didn't come off the field. He spent the last 5 weeks of the season and the playoff round playing on a quad with less structural integrity than Paul Broun's understanding of The Origin of the Species, and for a precision passer like Manning that's death.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

11 Deep Thoughts From the National Championship Game


A few thoughts and revelations from last night's first-ever "national championship" college football game:
  1. If Ohio State can win a national championship behind its third string QB, no coach in America will ever be allowed to use injuries as an excuse for a rough season ever again.

Friday, January 09, 2015

The Fix Is Enh

One of the most interesting memes in sports fandom is "the game is fixed". It also manifests as "the refs decide who wins", "the team with the most money always wins", and "Roger Goodell wanted the Cowboys to win". You saw it popping up ten seconds after the weirdly reversed pass interference call in the Cowboys-Lions game, just as you saw it popping up back in that Super Bowl a few years ago when some truly horripilating refereeing cost the Seahawks the game.

Thursday, January 08, 2015

On the Camellia Bowl

Friend of the blog Aaron Terry just got his first bit of sports blogging published, a take on the venue for the Camellia Bowl.

Check it out here.

(and yes, Camellia has two "L"s. Who knew?)

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

Ten Things I Think About the Baseball Hall of Fame Results


  1. Congratulations to John Smoltz, Pedro Martinez, Randy Johnson, and Craig Biggio on their induction into the Hall of Fame. Celebrating their election, not fist-shaking impotent rage over who did or didn't vote for whom and why, is the thing to take away from yesterday's results.
  2. Having four candidates go in without losing anyone with a reasonable case for induction off the bottom of the ballot (I'm looking at you, Gary Sheffield) is a good thing, as it means that next year's relatively thin crop of new candidates could allow some more worthies to make it in. And by worthies, I mean "Tim Raines". But I digress.

Monday, January 05, 2015

Apologies

Sorry for the slower pace of content recently. I've been focusing on the Kickstarter I'm principle creative on, specifically the 20th Anniversary Edition of the tabletop RPG Wraith: The Oblivion. Check it out here if you're so inclined - it's ghosterrific.

And your regularly schedule geshrying will return tomorrow after the KS wraps up.

Saturday, January 03, 2015

Bowl Cut

Here is all you need to know about bowl season:

A team being coached by an interim coach after the head coach was fired but before the new head coach got out of his current gig came back from 25 points down in the 4th quarter to beat a team whose coach had quit to take another job, and which was being coached by an interim coach while the new head coach, who had just coached another bowl game 20 miles away, watched from the stands.