If they say: "Can't spread the floor"
They mean: "Can't shoot the ball from further than six inches."
If they say: "That's an upside pick"
They mean: "He's not actually capable of playing NBA-level basketball right now"
If they say: "Stash pick"
They mean: "They're going to let this guy play in Europe for a while because he'd get eaten alive over here, and this way they don't have to pay his salary or waste a roster spot on him"
If they say: "Future 3 and D player"
They mean: "For the moment, just "D". Couldn't drive the lane behind the wheel of a Mac truck, can only shoot from outside with nobody guarding him"
If they say: "Inconsistent motor"
They mean: "Only plays defense if the coach is looking directly at him. Sometimes."
If they say: "I'm not sure he's a good fit"
They mean: "They already have four guys who play that same position."
If they say: "Great character"
They mean: "We've run out of things to say about how he plays basketball"
If they say: "Rim protector"
They mean: "Very good at standing in front of the basket and being tall. Not so good at "moving""
If they say: "His age is a concern."
They mean: "He's 22 years old."
If they say: "He needs to get more mature."
They mean: "He's a 19 year old kid who's been told he's a star his whole life and who's about to have a giant dump truck full of money backed up to his house. Oddly enough, he's not acting like Mr. Spock."
If they say: "Stretch four"
They mean: "Tall guy who can shoot from outside but is allergic to paint"
If they say: "Great at creating for others"
They mean: "Can't actually shoot."
If they say: "Great at creating his own shot"
They mean: "Can't actually pass"
If they say: "Offense-first player"
They mean: "Can't actually defend."
If they say: "Raw but talented"
They mean: "The kid played 8 minutes a game for a second division team in the Turkish league but somebody at ESPN saw his YouTube video and now we're all supposed to be excited."
If they say: "Lacks projection"
They mean: "We've been watching him play college ball for 3-4 years and we know exactly what he can and can't do, which is much less fun than imagining him suddenly turning into one of the X-Men."
They mean: "We've been watching him play college ball for 3-4 years and we know exactly what he can and can't do, which is much less fun than imagining him suddenly turning into one of the X-Men."
They mean: "I have no idea what to think of their draft but I have to say something."
They mean: "I'm actually Mel Kiper Jr."
(special thanks to friend of the blog Zack Cooper for gut-checking these)
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